tha_mattster
15-05-06, 21:25
Thanks again for all your questions!
-----------------------------------------------------
http://hatfield-house.co.uk/photos/Aerial%201.jpg
So again I set off with another bag of presents from the forum people. Its just starting to rain, so im hurrying, I really dont want to get even more wet.
http://hatfield-house.co.uk/photos/House.jpg
As the house comes into view I hear laughter coming towards me from the trees, its lara! It looks like she is going inside to keep dry. Anyway she doesnt see me and gallops around the back of the house.
http://www.beautywithattitude.com/tomb_raider/images/trcol_img10.jpg
A lot of what Zip said is NOT repeatable on these forums, so I will just use ******'s to cover it up if needed!
As I enter the hall, I realise that I'm not sure what to expect from Zip, but there he is in his computer room. He beckons me in. His accent is quite strong! I sit on this uncomfortable metal chair next to him and begin with your questions!
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/zip1.jpg
ara asks:
1. Why were you in jail?
Who told you! Yea I was in jail - so what?
(Well, why? I ask him)
Lets just say NASA like to keep their technology to themselves, selfish ****ers. (he makes a disgruntled sound)
2. Is Lara sexy?
I didn't know you were blind. (he laughs and winks!)
3. Do you and Lara have a relationship or what?
Ha! In my dreams...
(so you have never dated? I ask)
I just told you.
4. How much do you get paid?
Paid, man I wish! Lara has friends in high places ya know. She pulled a favour with the home office to get me out of jail, back in the US.
As long as I'm working for her, they think I'm out of trouble, you know. (he grins)
5. Do you have girlfriend? (I CAN BE! YOU ARE GOOD-LOOKING GUY!)
We are in the middle of nowhere, don't ya realise!? If you live in hertfordshire, you gotta come see me some time!
Hazel asks:
1.Since your time when you worked at the VCI headquarters you’ve buffed up considerably. Did you do this for a reason?
Thanks for noticing, I am amazingly good looking. When you look like this, ya got a duty to look your best.
2.What do you think of Alister’s constant babbling on about facts?
I don't think about it. Thats the best thing to do (he laughs)
3.Have you ever got into a fight with any members at the mansion?
Who have I not had fights with!
4.Why did you go to jail?
Man, dont you listen?! Change the subject.
5.Why do you have a post it note on your PC reminding you to re-boot Lara’s web cam in her bedroom?
What the f***? There is (he shuffles his chair back, its on wheels you see) no such (now he quickly moves his arm and crumples something up)
thing! What are you? The post it police? (this guy is rude! thanks for that question Hazel -.- )
Eleana asks:
1/Is Alistar gay?
The man collects white orchids, and have you been near his room? It stinks!
2/Does Lara ever walk around the Croft Manor in her underwear?
Sure she does, its her place! Speak of the half naked devil...(he points over to the fireplace, where lo and behold, Lara is doing yoga in her underwear!)
3/If not, do you wish she did?
Sure, I wish she did more, but Englands f*****g cold. I'm freezing my a** off half the year. So the chances are slim.
4 I'd like to give zip a piece of paper with my phone number on it if possible.
(I hand him the note, its a phone number with a lipstick kiss! how embarrassing >.< )
Thanks (he pops it in a drawer, he open and closes it too fast for me to see inside)
Lara's Backpack asks:
1) What's the web address for your blog?
I write under a, whats the word...psoodin..psyue...forget it. If I told you I would get in trouble.
Geck-o-Lizard asks:
1. You say you can cook. What's your favourite meal?
Ya know I would have fish n' chips anyday. (spoken in a mock english accent) Best grub in good ol' Blighty!
2. Your headset is cool... can I have it?
No. I made it myself.
3. Why do you have a barcode tattoo? Unfortunate accident in a grocery store?
You'd have to scan me to find out now wouldnt you!
4. McDonald's or Burger King?
You think I look this hot by going there?
5. Google or MSN?
I prefer oogle to google, if you know what I mean (he winks; I cringe)
Cochrane asks:
1. How comes that you are known as a cook?
Because there is nothing else to do in prison.
2. Approximately how many $ worth of electronic devices did Lara destroy so far?
Man I would hate to think! Thank god Winston is in charge of that.
3. Who drives the van, Alister or you?
You think Alister drives a van? Are you insane. No he CAN not drive, and NO I would not get in a vehicle with him at the wheel.
He trashed Lara's quad ya know.
4. Do you find it strange that half the questions that are asked here have to do with sexuality?
No. Im a sexy guy.
5. What would be the most remarkable situation you've gotten into since working for Lara?
Sitting in a van with Alister for 4 hours... Did you know there are 432 different kinds of stained glass? (he shudders)
VonCroy360 asks:
1. I like your tattoo; where and how did you get it?
(he does an impersonation of Alister) A man with exceedinly good taste, this VonCroy. I got it in Newquay. Some guy did it.
2. Do you enjoy spending your time with Lara, Winston and Alister?
I don't spend time with Winston. Can you even imagine? Don't even ask him about the war. Even Alister wouldnt dare! If you are stuck with Alister, throw him an encyclopedia and that'll shut him up good. I enjoy everything about Lara. (big grin on his face now!)
3. What do you think of yourself?
I am so great, so great, oh yea! (he does a little dance with his hands) Why do you even have to ask!
4. I would like to give him a water gun; I just found out last day that it's very useful against people who annoy you; perhaps he can use it on Alister sometimes (when he gets bored of him).
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/waterpistol.jpg
Don't use that in here!! Are you outta your mind? (he snatches it off me)
tombraiderlover asks:
1. Is Lara honestly a nice person, and have we seen the wrong side of her?
Lara is NICE! There is NO wrong side to her, I like each side (he looks over to the fireplace, where lara is standing on her head!)
2. Do you sometimes find serving Lara annoying?
Zip serves no one. Actually, I serve lara breakfast if I get there before Winston! But you gotta be fast for that.
Pablo ct asks:
1. Where About is your room in Croft Manor
what!? I only tell lara...every day. (he sighs)
2. Do you do any excersises at all, u seem to be on a computer all day and your muscles are tonned.
Good DNA.
3. Whats this 'Refix the cam in bedroom' Note?
Another one?! Gimme that (he grabs it and rips it up)
4. What do you truly think of Alister?
Hes like a library, he has lots of useful info but I prefer not to go too often.
5. What do u truly think of Winston
What do I think of women, they are great (I repeat 'Winston!' ) Oh him? I guess he is ok, but from another world, time ...whatever...
Lucy Croft asks:
1. Present!! *gives new webcam*
Thanks! Lara smashed the one in the pool this morning...forget I said that.
2. Have you ever seen 'Little Britain'? (in regard to the post-it on his computer)
No, TV over here sucks. I saw a trailer for that I think, and you really think I can understand what they say?!
3. You are shexxxxxxy!! Will you marry me?
God no, I prefer hard to get women. (again with the eyes to the fireplace!)
4. How do you get your hair to look like that?
If I tell you, you take it to the grave. Tell anyone and I will kill you...alister does my hair.
lara lookalike asks:
1. have you ever fancied lara?
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/zip2.jpg
What a stupid question.
2. do you have a web cam in laras bedroom?
What are you the camera police?
3. does alisdair fansie you?
He fancies the dictionary thats who.
back-to-the-tomb asks:
1) Did you ever daydreamed you slept with lara?
I not only daydream about it, I also night dream about it. mmm... (I quickly move on)
2) Did you ever think of asking lara out?
Do I ever stop thinking about it? Man you are dumb.
3) Do you think lara loves you?
um....(he looks sensitive about this one!)...she should...
4) Do you feel irritated about these questions?
No, I feel hungry though.
scion asks:
1. Do you think Alistair has a thing for you ?
Lets not talk about him anymore, dont you have anything to ask about me?
2. Is it me or do the Croft Manor Comps run
on a dodgy pre windows OS ?
I designed the operating system. They cannot be hacked. Dont tell anyone.
3. When in Jail did you ever meet any of Lara’s Enemies...
No, her true enemies are usually too clever to get caught.
4. Be honest, what did you think when Amanda burst through
the doors...
I thought to backup the system. You should have seen Alister’s face!
5. Can i have one of those webcams to Lara room *flickers eyes*
No point, they function with this system only.
laracroft2122 asks:
-As Natla'd has asked before to nearly all of our interviewees - Are you gay?
**** off!
-Where is your room, your office?
We are IN my office, and I told you about my room already, you need to listen.
-Would you like Lara as in 'Oh see is a hottie' or 'Oh she is fine'.
She is all of that, and then some.
-Do you like Winston?
I think I answered that already, you been knocked on the head?
-Can I have Winston's Tea Tray?
Yea you have been, thats for sure.
Coffeebean asks:
1.Do you have a crush on Alister?
I don’t like where you’re taking this.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/zip3.jpg
Greenkey2 asks:
How often do you do backups?
The system I designed backs itself up three times a day.
Do you use Norton Internet Security? If so, which edition?
I don’t need that junk, the system cannot be hacked.
Which do you like better - remote desktop or VPN?
None of them, don’t u get it? The system is custom built by ME! Zip!
Which forums do you frequent when Lara gives you time off?
Lara is not my almighty master ya know. And that is for me to know!
What, in your opinion, is Microsoft's biggest innovation?
Don’t mention that name in here. (ohh touchy!)
Hunter asks:
A present for Zip, a pillow to make your stay in front of the monitors more comfy!
Thanks, maybe I can use it on alister if he talks about church windows again!
pauk123456 asks:
do you fancy winston?
You sick ****!
do you love lara?
Are we in a time warp? I told you like ten times!
who was your first girl friend?
Oh now that you cannot know. She is a celebrity you see. I would get sued.
do you hate alister?
No, please stop talking about that fool!
how old are you?
Isn’t that a taboo question over here...Do you think I look younger or older than Alister?
(I pause, and decide to flatter his ego, ‘Much younger’)
Correct. You are smart.
Natla'd asks:
does Alister have any tattoos?
He wouldnt even come into the tattoo place in newquay. The answer is no, I guess.
(At this point I run out of questions, thank him for his time and leave)
(As I step outside I suddenly hear a loud shrill cry! I swing around to see Alister, completely drenched, and beside him Zip stands wielding that little water gun! I decide it would be best to leave now, before Alister finds out where the gun came from, so I dash away, to return another day – without weapons!)
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/soaked.jpg
I hope you enjoyed the interview! Questions for Lara Croft will be invited soon...
-----------------------------------------------------
http://hatfield-house.co.uk/photos/Aerial%201.jpg
So again I set off with another bag of presents from the forum people. Its just starting to rain, so im hurrying, I really dont want to get even more wet.
http://hatfield-house.co.uk/photos/House.jpg
As the house comes into view I hear laughter coming towards me from the trees, its lara! It looks like she is going inside to keep dry. Anyway she doesnt see me and gallops around the back of the house.
http://www.beautywithattitude.com/tomb_raider/images/trcol_img10.jpg
A lot of what Zip said is NOT repeatable on these forums, so I will just use ******'s to cover it up if needed!
As I enter the hall, I realise that I'm not sure what to expect from Zip, but there he is in his computer room. He beckons me in. His accent is quite strong! I sit on this uncomfortable metal chair next to him and begin with your questions!
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/zip1.jpg
ara asks:
1. Why were you in jail?
Who told you! Yea I was in jail - so what?
(Well, why? I ask him)
Lets just say NASA like to keep their technology to themselves, selfish ****ers. (he makes a disgruntled sound)
2. Is Lara sexy?
I didn't know you were blind. (he laughs and winks!)
3. Do you and Lara have a relationship or what?
Ha! In my dreams...
(so you have never dated? I ask)
I just told you.
4. How much do you get paid?
Paid, man I wish! Lara has friends in high places ya know. She pulled a favour with the home office to get me out of jail, back in the US.
As long as I'm working for her, they think I'm out of trouble, you know. (he grins)
5. Do you have girlfriend? (I CAN BE! YOU ARE GOOD-LOOKING GUY!)
We are in the middle of nowhere, don't ya realise!? If you live in hertfordshire, you gotta come see me some time!
Hazel asks:
1.Since your time when you worked at the VCI headquarters you’ve buffed up considerably. Did you do this for a reason?
Thanks for noticing, I am amazingly good looking. When you look like this, ya got a duty to look your best.
2.What do you think of Alister’s constant babbling on about facts?
I don't think about it. Thats the best thing to do (he laughs)
3.Have you ever got into a fight with any members at the mansion?
Who have I not had fights with!
4.Why did you go to jail?
Man, dont you listen?! Change the subject.
5.Why do you have a post it note on your PC reminding you to re-boot Lara’s web cam in her bedroom?
What the f***? There is (he shuffles his chair back, its on wheels you see) no such (now he quickly moves his arm and crumples something up)
thing! What are you? The post it police? (this guy is rude! thanks for that question Hazel -.- )
Eleana asks:
1/Is Alistar gay?
The man collects white orchids, and have you been near his room? It stinks!
2/Does Lara ever walk around the Croft Manor in her underwear?
Sure she does, its her place! Speak of the half naked devil...(he points over to the fireplace, where lo and behold, Lara is doing yoga in her underwear!)
3/If not, do you wish she did?
Sure, I wish she did more, but Englands f*****g cold. I'm freezing my a** off half the year. So the chances are slim.
4 I'd like to give zip a piece of paper with my phone number on it if possible.
(I hand him the note, its a phone number with a lipstick kiss! how embarrassing >.< )
Thanks (he pops it in a drawer, he open and closes it too fast for me to see inside)
Lara's Backpack asks:
1) What's the web address for your blog?
I write under a, whats the word...psoodin..psyue...forget it. If I told you I would get in trouble.
Geck-o-Lizard asks:
1. You say you can cook. What's your favourite meal?
Ya know I would have fish n' chips anyday. (spoken in a mock english accent) Best grub in good ol' Blighty!
2. Your headset is cool... can I have it?
No. I made it myself.
3. Why do you have a barcode tattoo? Unfortunate accident in a grocery store?
You'd have to scan me to find out now wouldnt you!
4. McDonald's or Burger King?
You think I look this hot by going there?
5. Google or MSN?
I prefer oogle to google, if you know what I mean (he winks; I cringe)
Cochrane asks:
1. How comes that you are known as a cook?
Because there is nothing else to do in prison.
2. Approximately how many $ worth of electronic devices did Lara destroy so far?
Man I would hate to think! Thank god Winston is in charge of that.
3. Who drives the van, Alister or you?
You think Alister drives a van? Are you insane. No he CAN not drive, and NO I would not get in a vehicle with him at the wheel.
He trashed Lara's quad ya know.
4. Do you find it strange that half the questions that are asked here have to do with sexuality?
No. Im a sexy guy.
5. What would be the most remarkable situation you've gotten into since working for Lara?
Sitting in a van with Alister for 4 hours... Did you know there are 432 different kinds of stained glass? (he shudders)
VonCroy360 asks:
1. I like your tattoo; where and how did you get it?
(he does an impersonation of Alister) A man with exceedinly good taste, this VonCroy. I got it in Newquay. Some guy did it.
2. Do you enjoy spending your time with Lara, Winston and Alister?
I don't spend time with Winston. Can you even imagine? Don't even ask him about the war. Even Alister wouldnt dare! If you are stuck with Alister, throw him an encyclopedia and that'll shut him up good. I enjoy everything about Lara. (big grin on his face now!)
3. What do you think of yourself?
I am so great, so great, oh yea! (he does a little dance with his hands) Why do you even have to ask!
4. I would like to give him a water gun; I just found out last day that it's very useful against people who annoy you; perhaps he can use it on Alister sometimes (when he gets bored of him).
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/waterpistol.jpg
Don't use that in here!! Are you outta your mind? (he snatches it off me)
tombraiderlover asks:
1. Is Lara honestly a nice person, and have we seen the wrong side of her?
Lara is NICE! There is NO wrong side to her, I like each side (he looks over to the fireplace, where lara is standing on her head!)
2. Do you sometimes find serving Lara annoying?
Zip serves no one. Actually, I serve lara breakfast if I get there before Winston! But you gotta be fast for that.
Pablo ct asks:
1. Where About is your room in Croft Manor
what!? I only tell lara...every day. (he sighs)
2. Do you do any excersises at all, u seem to be on a computer all day and your muscles are tonned.
Good DNA.
3. Whats this 'Refix the cam in bedroom' Note?
Another one?! Gimme that (he grabs it and rips it up)
4. What do you truly think of Alister?
Hes like a library, he has lots of useful info but I prefer not to go too often.
5. What do u truly think of Winston
What do I think of women, they are great (I repeat 'Winston!' ) Oh him? I guess he is ok, but from another world, time ...whatever...
Lucy Croft asks:
1. Present!! *gives new webcam*
Thanks! Lara smashed the one in the pool this morning...forget I said that.
2. Have you ever seen 'Little Britain'? (in regard to the post-it on his computer)
No, TV over here sucks. I saw a trailer for that I think, and you really think I can understand what they say?!
3. You are shexxxxxxy!! Will you marry me?
God no, I prefer hard to get women. (again with the eyes to the fireplace!)
4. How do you get your hair to look like that?
If I tell you, you take it to the grave. Tell anyone and I will kill you...alister does my hair.
lara lookalike asks:
1. have you ever fancied lara?
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/zip2.jpg
What a stupid question.
2. do you have a web cam in laras bedroom?
What are you the camera police?
3. does alisdair fansie you?
He fancies the dictionary thats who.
back-to-the-tomb asks:
1) Did you ever daydreamed you slept with lara?
I not only daydream about it, I also night dream about it. mmm... (I quickly move on)
2) Did you ever think of asking lara out?
Do I ever stop thinking about it? Man you are dumb.
3) Do you think lara loves you?
um....(he looks sensitive about this one!)...she should...
4) Do you feel irritated about these questions?
No, I feel hungry though.
scion asks:
1. Do you think Alistair has a thing for you ?
Lets not talk about him anymore, dont you have anything to ask about me?
2. Is it me or do the Croft Manor Comps run
on a dodgy pre windows OS ?
I designed the operating system. They cannot be hacked. Dont tell anyone.
3. When in Jail did you ever meet any of Lara’s Enemies...
No, her true enemies are usually too clever to get caught.
4. Be honest, what did you think when Amanda burst through
the doors...
I thought to backup the system. You should have seen Alister’s face!
5. Can i have one of those webcams to Lara room *flickers eyes*
No point, they function with this system only.
laracroft2122 asks:
-As Natla'd has asked before to nearly all of our interviewees - Are you gay?
**** off!
-Where is your room, your office?
We are IN my office, and I told you about my room already, you need to listen.
-Would you like Lara as in 'Oh see is a hottie' or 'Oh she is fine'.
She is all of that, and then some.
-Do you like Winston?
I think I answered that already, you been knocked on the head?
-Can I have Winston's Tea Tray?
Yea you have been, thats for sure.
Coffeebean asks:
1.Do you have a crush on Alister?
I don’t like where you’re taking this.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/zip3.jpg
Greenkey2 asks:
How often do you do backups?
The system I designed backs itself up three times a day.
Do you use Norton Internet Security? If so, which edition?
I don’t need that junk, the system cannot be hacked.
Which do you like better - remote desktop or VPN?
None of them, don’t u get it? The system is custom built by ME! Zip!
Which forums do you frequent when Lara gives you time off?
Lara is not my almighty master ya know. And that is for me to know!
What, in your opinion, is Microsoft's biggest innovation?
Don’t mention that name in here. (ohh touchy!)
Hunter asks:
A present for Zip, a pillow to make your stay in front of the monitors more comfy!
Thanks, maybe I can use it on alister if he talks about church windows again!
pauk123456 asks:
do you fancy winston?
You sick ****!
do you love lara?
Are we in a time warp? I told you like ten times!
who was your first girl friend?
Oh now that you cannot know. She is a celebrity you see. I would get sued.
do you hate alister?
No, please stop talking about that fool!
how old are you?
Isn’t that a taboo question over here...Do you think I look younger or older than Alister?
(I pause, and decide to flatter his ego, ‘Much younger’)
Correct. You are smart.
Natla'd asks:
does Alister have any tattoos?
He wouldnt even come into the tattoo place in newquay. The answer is no, I guess.
(At this point I run out of questions, thank him for his time and leave)
(As I step outside I suddenly hear a loud shrill cry! I swing around to see Alister, completely drenched, and beside him Zip stands wielding that little water gun! I decide it would be best to leave now, before Alister finds out where the gun came from, so I dash away, to return another day – without weapons!)
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/tha_mattster/soaked.jpg
I hope you enjoyed the interview! Questions for Lara Croft will be invited soon...