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Thorn
25-05-06, 11:56
I know I have clinical depression but I swear some days it's just too much. My friends are very understanding and comfort me when they can. Sometimes I feel like I have to get attention somehow by dressing a way and trying to be attractive and friendly looking as possible. Yet I still think I'm doing something wrong. I suppose this stems from my depression but it drives me so low sometimes. :( I think to myself that people don't really care about me since I'm quiet and shy. I'm not always like that I can be really dorky, funny, and exciting but at times I can't help but cut off and think I'm nothing special. My medication makes me very unexcitable and leaves a metallic taste in my mouth. I just wish that I wasn't born with this problem so that I wouldn't be in this pain. Does anyone know of alternatives to prescriptions? They help for a while yet they don't actually do their job. I'm just writing this in hopes of finding others like me who live with depression almost everyday so I can take comfort in knowing I'm not alone like I feel. Thanks very much.

Catapharact
25-05-06, 11:59
Well for one thing; I doubt its the lack of attention thats getting to you.

If you can, can you answer these questions for me?

a) What do you think is the biggest goal you have achieved in life thus fa?
b) What you define as a fun time out? Vacation? Night out with friends, etc.
c) Whats the one thing you always wanted to do even though it may be risky.

sweetPoison
25-05-06, 12:01
I really feel for you now. I am sure so many people out there have some problem simillar to yours or are in your situation. Just make sure that you are around people that love you and can support you and those who will be there for you when you need them.

I, too, have problems, and have been not myself for almost two years. Its because I caught my father having sex with another woman. It really hurt me, and since then my family hasn't been the same. Trust me, tried suicide, got a scar of my hand in trying to do it and even tired an OD but only got to four pills before I said no. Just post here if you have any more worries or feeling low. I am sure many people here would be gald to help you and comfort you.

All the best:)

sweetPoison
25-05-06, 12:03
New York has some great art galleires and I have read that visiting an art gallery may be relief for some as it reduces stress and worries by forty five percent.

I just thought you could use a day out and relax and feel good about yourself.:)

CerebralAssassin
25-05-06, 12:04
Yet I still think I'm doing something wrong.

what gives you this impression?

meansizzler
25-05-06, 12:04
I'm depressed to...., i'm usually alwasy sad, come here...:hug:

Thorn
25-05-06, 12:05
Well for one thing; I doubt its the lack of attention thats getting to you.

If you can, can you answer these questions for me?

a) What do you think is the biggest goal you have achieved in life thus fa?
b) What you define as a fun time out? Vacation? Night out with friends, etc.
c) Whats the one thing you always wanted to do even though it may be risky.
I know the answers to those question and I can take light in them. Still this won't help in the long run. I suppose it's something I have to live with and try to battle. You're questions have actually made me see some light though, thanks Catapharact.

Thorn
25-05-06, 12:06
I'm depressed to...., i'm usually alwasy sad, come here...:hug:
We need a pity party. Joke! :hug: :)

meansizzler
25-05-06, 12:08
We need a pity party. Joke! :hug: :)

If only that would help...:(

interstellardave
25-05-06, 12:09
I can't pretend to have any understanding of clinical depression, but I do know from your posts and your picture (that I saw somewhere on here) that you're a very beautiful woman who has always presented herself very well on this forum. I've seen humor and intelligence in your posts. You at the very least don't have any reason to feel bad about yourself! I wish you all the best... :hug:

Thorn
25-05-06, 12:11
If only that would help...:(
Have you ever seen a doctor meansizzler or do you think it's nothing? :hug: I'm gonna watch The Matrix Reloaded soon to get my mind off things.

meansizzler
25-05-06, 12:14
Have you ever seen a doctor meansizzler or do you think it's nothing? :hug: I'm gonna watch The Matrix Reloaded soon to get my mind off things.

Nope, not seen one, I just live with it, although I don't think it's depression, i'm just always sad, hey I have something that might cheer you up, you have quicktime right...

LINK (http://www.jamshaeed.com/stuff/)

Download the Monkey one, "Right Click" [Save Target As], don't left click...

angelika
25-05-06, 12:18
I 've read manyposts of yours about your problems and I can assure you 've got many of us pretty worried.

What I think you should do is find out what you really like in life, what you adore, what gives you life. Stick to it and never let it go.
The last thing you need right now is relationship. Try to avoid it.

Life is the hapiness we find in the simple things in life. There's no grand plan waiting for us in life. Life and hapiness is what we make everyday.

Don't get me wrong for saying this, but I think you spend too much time thinking what you're going to wear to be acceptable or things like that, but did it occure to you that some people have great problems to deal with.
I think you should be greatful you haven't come across to serious problems.

Try to enjoy your every day. You only live once and life is too short to spend it thinking what people think of you or feeling sad just because.

Real Life Lara
25-05-06, 12:20
Meh... :( *raises hand* Can I too be in the depressed party? Im off to yet another appointment to check up on it in only 15 minutes. Woo :( I wish itd go away but no matter what I do or how many prescriptions they give me, nothing seems to help.

angelika
25-05-06, 12:21
What do all think about when you are depressed?

What brings you so down?
What is the thought on your mind when you feel like this?

meansizzler
25-05-06, 12:25
Meh... :( *raises hand* Can I too be in the depressed party?

:hug: , watch the monkey video I posted in previous message...

Catapharact
25-05-06, 12:26
I know the answers to those question and I can take light in them. Still this won't help in the long run. I suppose it's something I have to live with and try to battle. You're questions have actually made me see some light though, thanks Catapharact.

You have to realize that usually depression is caused at a state of helplessness; A preception that there is nothing more a person can do in life or has no direction or goals. Make goals for yourself. IIf you achieved something you aspired to have, than raise the bar, go one step ahead of it. You are too young to have no goals in life.

CerebralAssassin
25-05-06, 12:26
have you tried NOT taking pills thorn?they do cause more problems than they solve...

Thorn
25-05-06, 12:27
Nope, not seen one, I just live with it, although I don't think it's depression, i'm just always sad, hey I have something that might cheer you up, you have quicktime right...

LINK (http://www.jamshaeed.com/stuff/)

Download the Monkey one, "Right Click" [Save Target As], don't left click...
Thankies that was cute meansizzler. :hug:

CerebralAssassin
25-05-06, 12:27
You have to realize that usually depression is caused at a state of helplessness; A preception that there is nothing more a person can do in life or has no direction or goals. Make goals for yourself. IIf you achieved something you aspired to have, than raise the bar, go one step ahead of it. You are too young to have no goals in life.
LOL that works too!

angelika
25-05-06, 12:28
have you tried NOT taking pills thorn?they do cause more problems than they solve...

I 've heard that from many people, might be true.

Spitfire
25-05-06, 12:42
Its an utter shame someone like you who looks like alot of fun can be so depressed...
I'm not going to lie, I can't relate but i know some people who have those issues too and it does looks like no matter what you do it just never seems to get anybetter.
What you need is a change of enviroment. Drop What ever it is your doing and leave evrything you know behind and out of here. Go with your best friend to someplace you always wanted and if u cant right now put a BIG sign on your refridgerator and keep working towards it till it happens and go have the time of your life on a weekend or week cruise or going somewhere you've always loved.

Greenkey2
25-05-06, 17:06
I know what it is to have clinical depression - and live with others who have it - and the first thing I would say is that pills don't cure anything. They only suppress the symptoms (and tend to give unpleasant side effects that can be even worse than the condition they're treating).

I do feel for you Thorn :hug: You're a very friendly and easy-to-get-along-with member of this forum. The best way to tackle your depression is to talk with your doctor and a trained clinical therapist to find the root cause of your illness and its affects. It would make things easier if it had a really scientific-sounding name; 'depression' is such a terrible misomer :( :mad:

Talking it through with someone not emotionally involved in your life would really help you get on the right road to controlling your illness (friends and family are great, but they can only support, not treat, you).

Hope this helps a little. Thinking of you :hug:

Janny
25-05-06, 17:10
Sorry to hear you feel depressed :( Just remember that the people here at TRF are always here to help you make you feel better :hug:

I can't help but cut off and think I'm nothing special.
I often feel the same way about myself, but I remmeber that we're all special in our own way and that helps me go on :)

jarhead
25-05-06, 17:12
im sorry to hear about that thorn :hug: :hug:

have you tried- ( and this IS gonna sound selfish) but treat yourself to something. a whole day of treats and stuff that would make you happy. include some friends and have a full day of YOU time :D

Thorir
25-05-06, 17:23
I'm depressed too, Thorn. :hug:
I used to take pills, but I actually feel better without them.
But I'm seeing my doctor on monday again. I keep trying new pills, noone has worked for me so far. :( Damn side-effects! The last ones made my pupils HUGE, my vision was blurry, I didn't eat in a couple of days and my hands were shaking like mad.

Sofitegan
25-05-06, 17:41
I dont know anything about this topic i have to admit, but you are obviously a really lovely person and deserve to be happy.
Hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:

MiCkiZ88
25-05-06, 18:03
I understand you thorn.. truly I do :( because.. well.. I've also been depressed ALOT.. and I mean ALOT lately... it's like.. well.. you know :( I didn't know you where like me :eek:


Thorn you aint so shy like me.. trust me.. and you look beatifull.
On top of that.. You ARE a really nice person :hug:

lots and lots of hugs to you. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Airave
25-05-06, 18:24
Thorn, I had what is called in clinical circles
Sensitve Artists Syndrome for many years. ;)

What finally cured it was.... age. =/

Either I "out-grew" of it, "found myself" or
I just got tired of it standing in my way.

Can't really say which it was.

But I made it and SO CAN YOU!:)

DragonDan
25-05-06, 18:46
Just what I was thinking. Life is never as good as when you are young. Depression/ anxiety/ and such are in my opinion caused by youthful hormones. I of course am not a doctor, but I did grow out of most of my youthful weirdness.
I know this does not help much, but it is what I have experienced.

Spitfire
25-05-06, 18:51
im being serious here with this suggestion...atleast im going to try to be.

Sex, why you ask? Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.Its a fact and I think we should use such scientific information to our benefits :D

Paul H
25-05-06, 18:56
This is a very simple idea but it works for some people. Think of places you have been to that you really enjoyed. Maybe from when you were a child holidaying (i.e. vacationing) and have happy memories about. Then do a Google image search on those places and spend some time looking through the pictures.

Spitfire
25-05-06, 19:00
This is a very simple idea but it works for some people. Think of places you have been to that you really enjoyed. Maybe from when you were a child holidaying (i.e. vacationing) and have happy memories about. Then do a Google image search on those places and spend some time looking through the pictures.
wouldnt that make you more depressed thinking about how your childhood has gone by and those days are over. Sure good times for awhile but then dont your thoughts always drift into that kinda mood...for me it does.


Hmm not helping am i :(

Airave
25-05-06, 19:02
^^^ True what you say, Spitfire,
sometimes at in certain cases.

And only when you are strong enough to deal
with the emotional consequences that most always
come with sex.

Airave
25-05-06, 19:08
wouldnt that make you more depressed thinking about how your childhood has gone by and those days are over. Sure good times for awhile but then dont your thoughts always drift into that kinda mood...for me it does.
(

Each day is a new TR Level.
So what if you lost health or
missed a Secret at another Level?
Do a re-play if you have to. Meh!

You have ammo and medi packs,
and The Game awaits You!

Stay focussed!

CerebralAssassin
25-05-06, 19:17
Each day is a new TR Level.
So what if you lost health or
missed a Secret at another Level?
Do a re-play if you have to. Meh!

You have ammo and medi packs,
and The Game awaits You!

Stay focussed!
LOL interesting way to put it :tea:

Airave
25-05-06, 20:21
:D

Voni
25-05-06, 20:25
It's a bit frightening how many people on here have some form of depression. But I'm gonna join in!

I've been 'ill' since for ever, I'm a self harmer and have the scars to prove it, have attempted suicide 6-7 times and have wanted to kill myself countless times more. I've been on pills twice but taken myself back off them because they did nothing except drain me of my money. I've seen countless doctors and been diagnosed with all sorts of things, social phobia, OCD, but never depression, wierdly. It's part of the reason why I have to leave my job, I stutter and screw things up when I talk to customers so I'm no good in that role.

I suppose this rant just says, 'you are not alone' . Quite frankly, depression is s**t and I know exactly how you feel.

Elysia
25-05-06, 20:46
I too suffer from clinical depression (wll, manic depression, to be more accurate!), and had a nervous breakdown 4 years ago... and although I could say 'I know exactly how you feel', I'm not going to because everyone feels differently. I do know, however, that you can only take one day at a time... one horrible thing about depression are the highs and lows it can bring on - the loes are scary because you worry you'll never get out of them, and the highs are even scarier because you know they aren't going to last (and, well, they are a bit manic...)

Best thing I did was get a good counsellor. Talking to her really helped. I also wrote and painted - it helped to express the feelings I was having. Yes, I used to self harm horribly, but I found ways to emulate the feeling of release I got from doing it (my big thing wasn't so much cutting - although I did that - but picking my feet. I've done it for years - I still do - tearing sheets of skin off my feet until I could barely hobble and my fingernails ached from digging into my skin. I found that smearing paint on a cermaic plate, allowing it to dry and then peeling it off kind of gave me the same sensation... okay, so it was a poor substitute, but it did help to curb what I was doing to myself) - sometimes little things can help. Don't force yourself to do anything - there's nothing worse than that nasty, insiduous feeling of guilt associated with depression. As my doctor said to me - if you'd broken your leg, no one would comment on it. Depression is a lot more debilitating than a broken leg, and so should be treated as such - an illness, not an excuse.

:) I really do hope you're feeling better soon. (Oh, and about the anti-depressant issue - honestly, if you're prescribed them, take them. You're doctor wouldn't be prescribing them if they didn't think you needed them. I know that's a very unfashionable point of view when it comes to depression - initially, I felt very bad about taking anti-depressants and anti-anxieties - but they did make me feel more able to cope with day to day life. I'm not going to say they make things better - they don't - but they do make things slightly easier to bear. A lot of people will tell you to stay away from medical treatment, but I was on my anti-depressants for 2 years, and now I'm off them (I take anti-anxieties (stelazine) as I need them, but I came off the prothiaden with no side effects about 18 months or so ago, and whilst I still have my depressive moments, I don't feel the craving need to go back on the pills. There's a lot of stigma attached to taking pills, but they are there to make you feel better - to hell with the skeptics!)

RAID
25-05-06, 20:47
I can totally relate to how you feel Thorn. Maybe "I feel sorry" is an ugly word, so I'll say I understand you. But give it some time. You will get better :hug:

I've been through, well actually still am, kinda, living this right now. Sometimes I just feel that I'm not good enough to be with others. And every day I worry that I'm not gonna find love. I know it sounds corny, but I've become this romantic jack ass. Every day my mind keeps telling me that I'm not as good looking as some of my friends. Every day I'm obsessed that people talk about me behind my back. I trust no one, and some times I feel like my life is passing by me, and I'm not living it. And sometimes I'm just happy. You know, the people you hang out with make a difference.

Right now, I'm getting ready to face a difficult period. School is almost over. Two wweks left now, and I have to say goodbye to these amazing friends I have. I love them all, well almost all, and I'm gonna miss them.

May I ask how old are you? Cause there are years in life which are difficult for most people. I'm talking about 16, 17, 18, 19 years old...

Angel666
25-05-06, 21:01
I have never gone through what you're going through, as every case is different, but we are all here if you need a shoulder to cry on. We love you THORN. :hug:

Melonie Tomb Raider
25-05-06, 21:31
I'm sorry to ehar that you are depressed Clara. :( I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and so are many other forum members! Just send an email when you are feeling down, and I would love to keep in touch with you. You can always talk to me on msn too. :D When I'm online... Sometimes I get so caught up (kind of like right now lol) that I never have the chance to stay on for more than a few minutes at a time.

Honestly I think you have some amazing qualities, but you just possibly may not be expressing them as you wish you could. I think that when you are depressed you need people to help you feel better, we all need that sometimes. Perhaps you are taking the wrong approach though. I noticed in the picturet hread you postedt hat pic of yourself showing a lot of cleavage, and you spoke of taking "enhancers" and stuff like that. I feel that possibly you are doing this because you want people to notice you, and you want attention (as we all need!), but I think you are going about it the wrong way without realizing it. We'd love to see pictures of you with a huge smile on your face! :D That would be a more appropriate way to be noticed I think. Because otherwise you could be drawing negative attention toward yourself. Good thing we have respectable forum members here though! :)

I hope you don't feel as if I'm trying to tell you what to do, because I'm not. I have a lot of respect for you and I would consider you a friend of mine. It saddens me to hear that you are so depressed, but I think that instead of just telling you how bad I feel about it, I should try to help you as well. If that is ok with you.

Please, keep us updated with how you are doing, and never hesitate to talk to me, or anyone else here on teh forums. Even outside of the forums. Like an email or msn. I've been keeping you in my prayers, and I know that you can overcome this. I'm glad that you have come out with it, because it's soooo much harder to go through depression alone.

Soma Holiday
25-05-06, 23:21
I've been through something similar and battled through it for 2 years until I finally found myself and I've never been happier. I'm naturally shy as well, not really 'shy' but more unsocial. That kept me from opening up to the people around me because I felt like none of them knew the problems that I was going through at the time and that none of them were like me. I wouldn't talk, even though I wanted to, but I soon realized that I was just as special as everyone else and that I was missing out on life. But for the last 5 months Its all changed since I've met some people like myself and since I've stop caring what people think of me and more about how I feel about things. 1 thing I've learned is that you should NOT worry about pleasing people in any way, whether it be the way you act or the way you look. YOU should feel confident, so don't let others wear you down or force you do overdue anything.

I know that clinical depression is something more difficult to deal with since my father has it and I'll probably end up with it because of that, but I'm savoring the moment and trying to prevent everything...

another big thing that helped me was the music I listened to...I used to have a lot of self hatred because of some serious things that happened in my family, but I quickly changed when a friend gave me some cd recommendations, primarily Stabbing Westward, which basically helped me turn my self-hatred into loathing for the people who were the real cause of my depression...not sure if that's the feeling you're looking for, but personally I'm much happier not hating myself.

*hugs* either way, I've always enjoyed your company Clara, you should never consider yourself unspecial in any way. ;)

Thorn
26-05-06, 05:32
Thanks you guys this really lets me know that I am important and special just like everyone is. It's just that sometimes I can't help my feelings and they eventually engulf me. I figure the best way to live with it is to try not to be so negative even though I feel that way and can't help it sometimes. To take my mind off this feeling I went to the park, layed in the grass, and just let the breeze help me through this. I actually walked around town and talked to these kids who were on their bikes. They let me ride theirs and I finally felt better and had some fun with them. I believe what I need to do is keep busy when I feel this way and try to have fun. When I've been depressed I just wanted to sleep and put it out of my mind. This sometimes helps but I think forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone and try to have fun is the best way to get out. I'm hoping those of you who have depression try to do what I did today because it's so worth it! Trust me when you just do something spontanious you feel awesome! Go to the park, ride your bike, or talk to random people. I can't say this will always help but it's a start on the right path.

:hug: :gki:

BoyTRaider
26-05-06, 05:42
I'm glad to see that you're feeling better now Clara. :hug:

Melonie Tomb Raider
26-05-06, 06:02
Aww well I'm glad you are coping with it better! Soundsl ike you had a lot of fun. :hug:

I think it would help if you would go somewhere where you could be involved with something. For example, I'm heavily involved with my church, and I can't even tell you how happy it makes me feel to know that I'm constantly around people who love me and pray for me every day.

There really are a lot of options for you. Just getting together with those kids was good for you, so that gave me the impression that if you were involved with some group then it would help you as well! So maybe if you joined a book club, church, or something to that effect it could help you out.

I've been through some depressing ordeals (won't go into detail here though) and I've learned that being with a group of people you know and trust makest hings so much better! And like i said before, if you ever need anyoen to talk to I'm here. So are a lot of the other members too. :) I'm sure it helps you to feel better when you are assured that you aren't alone. We're here for you. :hug:

BlackGrey
26-05-06, 09:53
I don't know if this will make you feel any better...

http://www.missouriskies.org/rainbow/rainbow_elam_2.jpg

Nephili
26-05-06, 10:21
Im sad to hear this Clara :hug: But im glad to see your feeling better now. Im always here for you if you need to talk, along with everyone else here :hug:

Eleanna123
26-05-06, 14:06
I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I would never have imagined you were that type!
I can understand the horrible feelings of depression, I had mild depression when I was around 14 but it was caused by another problem that I have been having for 6 years. That problem is agoraphobia. And I can tell you it's not pleasant, it's made my life very very difficult!

I'm glad that you're feeling better now and keeping busy and having fun definitely helps loads! Talking to people helps as well as well as hanging around with friends, listening to music, having a hobby etc.

The age is very revelant as well, I assume you are in your early twenties or at the least around 19-20. We're just getting out of puberty, one of the most difficult part of life for some. Try to take it slow and try to have fun!