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Elysia
20-06-06, 19:29
Time to share some pearls of wisdom... what are you favourite quotes from TV / film?

Mine include:

"Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?" (Fry, Futurama)

"This is the best movie I've ever seen. It has a vampire and an explosion!" (Fry, Futurama)

"Let the bears pay the bear tax! I pay the Homer tax!" (Homer, the Simpsons)

[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay] Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay....' (Homer, the Simpsons)

DOUGAL- Look, this table's so dirty I can write my name in it
TED- There's a 'G' in Dougal
DOUGAL- Where?
(Father Ted)

Ted: Dougal, have we any incense?
Dougal: Em...there was a spider in the bath...
(Father Ted)

Look at that. "Accident Blackspot"? These aren't accidents. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly. Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness. (Withnail and I)

We want the finest wines available to humanity, and we want them here, and we want them now. (Withnail and I)

Basil Fawlty: [to telephone operator] I've been trying to get through to the speaking clock... Well, it's engaged... Well, it's been engaged for ten minutes. How is this possible? My wife isn't talking to it. (Fawlty Towers)

Wanda: I'm sorry about my brother, Ken. I know he's insensitive. He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.
Ken: Good. (Talking about Otto - A Fish Called Wanda)

:D Come on - share! :D

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 19:37
I'm gonna love this thread :D .




Neo from The Matrix: How about... I give you the finger... and you give me my phone call?

Morpheus: Do you belive in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: I don't like the idea of not being in control of my life.

Trinity: No-one's tried anything like this.
Neo: That's why it's going to work.

Neo: Hiya, fellas.


Hermione from Harry Potter: We could have been killed, or worse, expelled.


Extra from My Family: ...you lazy son of a pig's nipple!

Ben from My Family: You don't want to be on my bad side. I'm a dentist.


Rory from 8 Simple Rules: Hey, dad. Want to play some extreme tennis?
(The dad had a tennis match with one of his daughters and accidentally fractured her nose.)

A guy from Withnail and I (I've never seen the film but I've heard the quote. You would have to hear it to understand it.: Get in the back of the van!

TombRaiderLover
20-06-06, 19:41
From The Graduate:

'Mrs Robinson, you are trying to seduce me, aren't you?????

'Oh God. Jesus Christ!!!! Oh my Christ!!!!!!

From Gone with the Wind:

'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'

From Easy Rider:

'I can feel the outside, but I can't . . . I can't feel the inside.'

From Carrie:

'Plug it up, plug it up, plug it up!!!!'

'They're all gonna laugh at you.'

'Hold me, Momma. Please hold me.'

From The Terminator:

'I'll be back.'

From Friends:

Monica: How bad do you want to smoke right now?
Chandler: I don't know what you mean . . . giant talking cigarette.

'You threw my sandwich away? My sandwich! My sandwich! Myyyyyyy sandwich!'

Legend of Lara
20-06-06, 19:44
Here are some of mine.

SONIC X-

Knuckles: Are you even listening to me?
Rouge: Nope!

Molly: You wouldn't know but this was once a beautiful place.
Rouge: You're right honey I wouldn't know. Guess I'll just have to take your word for it.

Rouge: Oh Knuckie...
Knuckles: What now?
Rouge: Goodness what a charming hello that was.

Knuckles: I'm trying to use my head.
Amy: Then we might as well give up now.
Rouge: She's right.

Shadow: Are you challenging me? 'cause you'll regret it!
Knuckles: I always wanted to Shadow-box.

Sonic: There's too much water here. I hate water.

TEEN TITANS-

Robin: Lights out Slade.

Aqualad: Your trash is in my ocean.

Cyborg: BOOYAH!

Beast Boy: You're just jealous because I sound like a rockstar.

Raven: Azarath Metrion Zinthos.

Beast Boy: Terra you can't...
Terra: Watch me!

FRIENDS-

Joey: *imitading Chandler* Hi, I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing anymore clothes?

Ross: You threw away my sandwich? MY SANDWICH? MY SANDWICH!!!???

Rachel: *gasp* Nooooooo...

Monica: I KNOW!

Joey: Monica, you've been in there for like an half an hour.
Monica: I know!

Janice: OH! MY! GOD!

Ross: Did you see the kid on that nose?

Ross: Has anyone seen my salmon-colored shirt?
Monica: Your pink shirt?
Ross: Salmon-colored?
Monica: No I haven't seen your pink shirt.

:D

Elysia
20-06-06, 19:44
I'm gonna love this thread :D .

A guy from Withnail and I (I've never seen the film but I've heard the quote. You would have to hear it to understand it.: Get in the back of the van!
That scene is hilarious - uptight copper, trying to get a drunk Withnail into the police van...

Gawds, I LOVE that film so much!

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 19:44
I've got some more.


A squirrel from Over the Hedge: I can burp my ABCs. A...B...C...


Someone from Tinsel Town: I can't be bothered with this, Sparky.


Anakin from Star Wars Episode III: You underestimate my power!


Obi-Wan (talking to Anakin)(watch Star Wars Episode IV to understand): Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?

Geck-o-Lizard
20-06-06, 19:50
Bill Bailey does my favourite quotes... :p

"Human slaves... in an insect nation! Woah-ohh-oh-ah-ohhh!"

"Seek out the chalky dust of the love salmon!"

"The pheasant has no agenda..."

CerebralAssassin
20-06-06, 19:50
"we mathematicians are boring 'cause we go off on tangents!" made popular by yours truly ;)

Mad Tony
20-06-06, 19:52
From Metal Gear Solid 2

Colenel: "I need scissors, 61!"

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 19:52
How could I forget Megas XLR quotes?! It's one of my fave TV shows! :hea: Here they are:


Jamie: I'm too pretty to die!


Coop: I got one word for you, pal: "Game over!"
Kiva: (in unison with Jamie) Two words.
Coop: Whatever.

Jamie: Coop! Blow these guys up!
Coop: I can't! They're not the bad guys!
Jamie: That's never stopped you before!

Coop: All right, squid! You tried to wreck the city - again, made me go to some alternate dimension where Jamie is a bigger creep than usual, and you got me locked in a jail with no food? It's go time!
Gorrath: (calmly) Are you talking to me?
(angrily) I'm on your side now, remember?
Coop: Oh, sorry. Force of habit, I guess.

Coop: All right you intergalactic snots! You ruined my car show!
Jamie: Yeah!
Coop: You trashed my friends' rides!
Jamie: Yeah!
Coop: AND! You made me run half a block!
Jamie: Ye... half a block?
Coop: Now, it's payback time!

CerebralAssassin
20-06-06, 19:53
and by HBK: "it's better to be ****ed of than ****ed on!" :D

AnotherLara
20-06-06, 19:55
"We're behaving like insects."

Douglas Copeland. :D

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 19:56
Christian Cage from TNA Wrestling: Sting's sorry he couldn't be here tonight. Last night he watched a film and he just couldn't pull himself away. It was the life story of Jeff Jarrett and Monty Brown. You might of heard of it... Brokeback Mountain.

Budr
20-06-06, 19:56
Homer Simpson: "I'm tired of being a wannabe league-bowler. I wanna be a league-bowler"

Homer Simpson: "Operator? Give me the number for 911!"

Zapp Branigan: "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

Fry: "It's like that drug trip in that movie I saw when I was on that drug trip"

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 19:58
Christian Cage: What's the capital of Thailand?
Monty Brown: Shower me with your wisdom, Mr Geography.
Christian Cage: Bangkok. (punches him in the "grapefruits")

Laras Backpack
20-06-06, 20:01
Wanda: I'm sorry about my brother, Ken. I know he's insensitive. He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.
Ken: Good. (Talking about Otto - A Fish Called Wanda)
:D I love that A Fish Called Wanda!
Otto: 'I love robbing the English, they're so polite!'

Otto: 'I am Italian. My name is "Otto", it means "8".'

Batman Returns:
Catwoman: Life's a *****. NOW SO AM I!!

Napoleon Dynamite:
Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

Rex: (points to his Stars and Strips decorated parachute pants) Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? (points to a picture of his body-builder girlfriend) Forget about it!

Lenochka
20-06-06, 20:01
" Thats hott " - paris hilton

" i like your sleeves... there real big " - Napoleon Dynamite
" tina come gets some ham " - Napoleon Dynamite

Elysia
20-06-06, 20:01
Bill Bailey does my favourite quotes... :p

"Human slaves... in an insect nation! Woah-ohh-oh-ah-ohhh!"

"Seek out the chalky dust of the love salmon!"

"The pheasant has no agenda..."

That man is God...

"I'm British, so I crave disappointment..."

"Argos- with its the laminated book of dreams... You know why it's laminated don't you? To catch the tears of joy... *sobs over imaginary Argos catalogue* So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!'

"There's more evil in the charts than in an Al-Qaeda suggestion box."

"I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk The Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said was 'Dad, you're wrong." (As Bilbo in 'Spaced')

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 20:02
" Thats hott " - paris hilton

:vlol:

Tre Cool from Green Day once mockingly said that.

CerebralAssassin
20-06-06, 20:02
Carlito: "do you spit or swallow?" :D

Eleana
20-06-06, 20:08
Blackadder (teaching Baldrick maths): "Now, if I have two beans, and I add two more beans what does that make?"

Baldrick: "A very small casserole??"

-Blackadder

Cat: "How am I looking? I'm looking nice! No, I'm looking better than nice! I'm looking DAAANGEROUS!" ...."Whats that?" (sees his own shadow) "My shadow?! I'm looking nice! My shadow's looking nice! What a team!!!"

-Red Dwarf

Eddie Murphy: "Only a man who's heart is pure can wield the knife! And only a man whose ass is narrow, can get down these stairs!"

-The Golden Child

"oooo, look at me!! I'm gonna go touch the butt!!!"

-Finding Nemo

Chris Tucker: "We could of been good together! But you are one crazy :cen:

-Rush Hour 2

Agent Smith: "Mr Aaaaanderson"

-The Matrix

Old Man: "Bewarrrreee, the grooove, the grooooooveeee!"

-Emporers new Groove

Mr burns: "Con-ga con-ga con-ga"
"We love Monty burns more!"
"Conga like you mean it!"
"Please don't make me shock you!"

-The Simpsons

Will post more later

Lenochka
20-06-06, 20:08
:vlol:

Tre Cool from Green Day once mockingly said that.

umm... who hasnt?

Elysia
20-06-06, 20:14
I can't resist more Futurama quotes...

"My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?" (Fry)

"Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder." (Bender)

"Finally I have a good claw. See, three human females, a number and a king giving himself brain surgery." (Zoidberg)

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy, and bruised." (Zapp)

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: You must take him to his ancient home world, which will soon erupt in an orgy of invertebrate sex.
Fry: Oh baby. I'm THERE.
Leela: Fry, do you even understand the word "invertebrate"?
Fry: Nope, but that's not the word I'm interested in.

rachkitten
20-06-06, 20:15
"Welcome to the suicide hotline... Please hold"
If at first you dont succeed, then sky diving definatly isnt for you!
If you are not living life on the edge, your taking up to much space

And afew chat-up lines

Boy: "are you a parking ticket?"
girl: "excuse me?"
Boy: cos you got fine written all over you

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.

Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes. (<<hope that onse not too inapropiate :o )

CerebralAssassin
20-06-06, 20:17
Boy: "are you a parking ticket?"
girl: "excuse me?"
Boy: cos you got fine written all over you

haha..LOL! :D

Elysia
20-06-06, 20:19
Eleana - Blackadder! How could I forget that one??

Edmund "Tell me, Brother Baldrick, what exactly did God do to the Sodomites?"
Baldrick "I dunno, but I can't imagine it was worse than what they used to do to each other...."

"To you it's a potato, to me it's a potato. But to Sir Walter Bloody Raleigh it's country estates, fine carriages, and as many girls as his tongue can cope with. He's making a fortune out of the things; people are smoking them, building houses out of them... They'll be eating them next."

Percy: I must say, Edmund, it was jolly nice of you to ask me to share your breakfast before the rigours of the day begin.
Edmund: Well, it is said, Percy, that civilised man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that, through learned discourse, he may rise above the savage and closer to God.
Percy: Yes, I've heard that.
Edmund: Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I'm best.

camel_spit
20-06-06, 20:19
Batman: "Nice coat!"

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 20:23
Batman: "Nice coat!"

I liked that line aswell.

camel_spit
20-06-06, 20:24
I liked that line aswell.

Wow, I didn't think anyone would know where it's from.

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 20:27
Wow, I didn't think anyone would know where it's from.

Batman Begins. As Bruce he gives a homeless person his coat and later on in the film when he's Batman, he sees the man again and says, "Nice coat."

Laras Backpack
20-06-06, 20:27
Blackadder

Edmund: Tell me Young crone, is this Putney?
Crone: That it be... that it be...
Edmund: "Yes it is", not "That it be". You don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me, I'm not a tourist. I seek information about a Wisewoman.
Crone: Ah, the Wisewoman.. the Wisewoman.
Edmund: Yes, the Wisewoman.
Crone: Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wisewoman. First, she is ... a woman! ...and second, she is ...
Edmund: Wise?
Crone: You do know her then?
Edmund: No, just a wild stab in the dark which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?
Crone: Of course.
Edmund: Where?
Crone: Here. Do you have an appointment?
Edmund: No.
Crone: Well, you can go in anyway.
Edmund: Thank you Young crone. Here is a purse of moneys... which I'm not going to give to you.
:D

CerebralAssassin
20-06-06, 20:27
Batman Begins. As Bruce he gives a homeless person his coat and later on in the film when he's Batman, he sees the man again and says, "Nice coat."
:vlol:

camel_spit
20-06-06, 20:37
Doctor Octopus: Butter Fingers!

tr_mitch
20-06-06, 20:40
:vlol: Scream " You hang up again, and i'll gut you like a fish "

camel_spit
20-06-06, 20:42
Jaws: were gonna need a bigger boat!

Laras Backpack
20-06-06, 20:45
Red Dwarf
My favorite!!

Rimmer: Boarding this vessel is an act of war. Ergo we surrender.

The Cat: All in all, 100% succesfull trip.
Kryten: But sir, we lost Mr Rimmer.
The Cat: All in all, 100% succesfull trip!

Lister: (discussing whether machines go to heaven) Just out of interest: Is Silicon Heaven the same place as human Heaven?
Kryten: Human heaven? Goodness me, humans don't go to Heaven! No, someone made that up to prevent you all from going nuts!

Rimmer: (exploring a derelict ship) Human remains. Wait, angle up five degrees, across ten degrees. There, some kind of writing on the floor, P-S-I-R-E-N-S, Psirens.
Kryten: The poor devil must have scrawled it in his death rows, using a combination of his own blood, and even his own intestines.
The Cat: Who would do that?
Lister: Someone who badly needed a pen.

Rimmer: That's it. I'm invoking space corp directive 6_8_2_5_0.
Kryten: 6_8_2_5_0? But sir, surely thats impossible without at least one live chicken and a rabbi.

Rimmer: Look, sooner or later, we're gonna have to face the fact that we're not all gonna get out of this in one piece. Or if we are, it's gonna be one big flat piece.

Rimmer: Step up to red alert.
Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

camel_spit
20-06-06, 20:49
Batman: I'm not gonna kill you... but I don't have to save you.

TombRaiderLover
20-06-06, 20:50
Batman: It's not who I am underneath . . . but what I do that defines me.

camel_spit
20-06-06, 20:52
:DBatman: It's not who I am underneath . . . but what I do that defines me.
:D I love that quote

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 20:53
Batman: It's not who I am underneath . . . but what I do that defines me.

That used to be my sig! I love that line.

camel_spit
20-06-06, 20:56
Sean Connery: You're the man now dog! (popular)

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 21:01
From the 60s Batman series:


Batman: We'll take the table by the window. We don't want to look inconspicuous.


:vlol: They're in costumes! :vlol:

Ampersand
20-06-06, 21:06
"Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right." :D

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 21:08
Jim from 8 Simple Rules: ...If I had made up stories about being in the war, would I have made up being shot in the ass?


:vlol:

Legend of Lara
20-06-06, 21:12
"Riddle me this, riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big bad bat?" -The Riddler, Batman Forever.

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 21:21
Tom Chandler from The Bill: Are we going to Hell Jack, and are we both going to burn in it?

xMiSsCrOfTx
20-06-06, 21:41
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."

"Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy."

- Girl, Interrupted

"Why do I get the girl gun?"

- Mr. & Mrs. Smith

All I can think of at the moment. :p

tlr online
20-06-06, 21:43
"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" :D

Alive_and_Funky
20-06-06, 21:44
"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" :D

I think I remember that but I'm not sure where it's from.

jarhead
20-06-06, 21:47
italian job- my grandad went to school with Mr Caine :rolleyes:

and

John Smith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000093/): Dance with me.
Jane Smith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001401/): You don't dance.
John Smith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000093/): It was just my cover, sweetheart.
Jane Smith (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001401/): Was sloth your cover too?

Rivendell
20-06-06, 22:07
Just about Everything from Blackadder < Amazing programme.

Just about evrything from Star Wars < So great!

From The Lord of the Rings:
'All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.'

Fawlty Towers : Nearly everything from that, but I always cack myself at:

"OOH You're GERMAN!! I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you."

:vlol:

Lenochka
20-06-06, 22:11
" Place bets now!!!! " - bald banzai dude

Catapharact
20-06-06, 22:14
"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" :D

LMAO!!!

Original Italian Job Rocked! :D

Fav. Quotes:

Sgt. Johnson: Now listen up! Back in my day, we didn't have fancy tanks! We had sticks. Two stick and a rock for the entire platoon! And we had to share the rock! You should consider yourself very lucky marines!

Sgt. Johnson: Don't they teach you kids to SWEAR in basic anymore?

Sergeant Johnson: [on radio on another ship, speaking in the position of a Covenant] Dear humanity, we regret being alien *******s, we regret coming to Earth, and we most definitely regret the Corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!

Serious one:

Done walk in front of, I'll not lead. Don't walk behind me, I'll not follow. Walk beside me as my friend.

CerebralAssassin
20-06-06, 22:20
One from Seinfeld:

Girlfriend: it's not you,it's me!
George: don't give me the "it's not you,it's me" routine, I invented the "it's not you,it's me"...if it's it anyone..it's me!
Girlfriend: ok alright,it's you!
George: your damn right it's me!

:D

keebz
21-06-06, 00:22
Here are my favourite Ron Weasly quotes from Harry Potter:

"I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."

"Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world."

"Viktor? Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?"

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,
Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."

Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.

"But why's she got to go to the library?"
"Because that's what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library."

"We're coming for you whether the Muggles like it or not, you can't miss the World Cup, only Mum and Dad reckon it's better if we pretend to ask their permission first. If they say yes, send Pig back with your answer pronto, and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday. If they say no, send Pig back pronto and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday anyway." [Letter to Harry]

"Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?"

"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea-cozy."

[Hermione] "Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?"
"What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you."

"Accio Brain!"

Hermione frowned at Ron.
"He's not a nutter, Ron--"
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother," said Ron irritably. "Is that normal, Hermione?"

"Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up an realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection.

"Ron, we're supposed to show the first-years where to go!"
"Oh, yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. "Hey-hey you lot! Midgets!"
"Ron!"
"Well, they are, they're twitchy..."

"The hats have gone," Hermione said happily. "Seems the house-elves do want freedom after all."
"I wouldn't bet on it," Ron told her cuttingly. "They might not count as clothes. They didn't look anything like hats to me, more like woolly bladders."

"What's up with you, Hermione?"
She was gazing out the window, but not as though she really saw it. Her eyes were unfocused and there was a frown on her face.
"Just thinking..." she said, still frowning.
"About Siri -- Snuffles?" said Harry.
"No...not exactly..." said Hermione slowly. "More...wondering...I suppose we're doing the right thing...I think....aren't we?"
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Well, that clears that up," said Ron. "It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."

"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down on his parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mysical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."

"...from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."

"What's that?" said Ron, pointing at a large dish of some sort of shellfish stew that stood beside a large steak-and-kidney pudding.
"Bouillabaisse," said Hermione.
"Bless you," said Ron.

"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry," said Ron. "He's not exactly recent if he's six-hundred and sixty-five, is he?"

"I'll make Goyle do lines, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, mimed writing in midair. "I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...back side."

"It's obvious," said Ron. "You can pretend to be waiting Professor Flitwick, you know." He put on a high voice, "'Oh, Professor Flitwick, I'm so worried, I think I got question fourteen b wrong...'"

"Stop moving!" Hermonie ordered them. "I know what this is-it's the Devil's Snare!"
"Oh, I'm so glad we know what it's called, that's a great help," snarled Ron, leaning back, trying to stop the plant from curling around his neck.

"Did I tell you I've invented a broomstick that'll reach Jupiter?"

"There you go, Harry," Ron shouted over the noise. "You weren't being thick after all- you were showing moral fiber!"

"You need your inner eye tested if you ask me."

"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough."

"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods."

"I tell you, that dragon is the most horrible creature I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes about it you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me, he told me off for frightening it. And when I left he was singing it a lullaby."

"Tomorrow," said Ron in a muffled voice, "I'd rather you set the alarm clock."

"Could've been anything," said Ron. "Maybe he [Tom Riddle] got thirty O.W.L.s or saved a teacher from the giant squid. Maybe he murdered Myrtle; that would've done everyone a favor..."

"We'll be there, Harry," said Ron.
"What?"
"At your aunt and uncle's house," said Ron. "And then we'll go with you, wherever you're going."

"It would've been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident.."

"Percy's started work-the Department of Magical Cooperation. Don't mention anything about Abroad while you're here unless you want the pants bored off of you."

"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy."

"You want to be careful with those," Ron warned Harry. "When they say every flavor, they mean every flavor!"

"Oy, pea-brain!"

"'Slug Club,'" repeated Ron with a sneer worthy of Malfoy. "It's pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don't you try hooking up with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen Slug---"

"We'll be there, Harry," said Ron.
"What?"
"At your aunt and uncle's house. And then we'll go with you, wherever you're going."

"Er--is this the new stand on elf rights?" said Ron. "You're going to make yourself puke instead?"

"Yeah, Dumbledore's off his rocker all right."

"I don't need help," Ron whispered. "It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight."

"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's soild, aren't we, we're not going to be asking , 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul".

"Fred and George tried to get me to make one [Unbreakable Vow] when I was about five. I nearly did, too, I was holding hands with Fred and everything when Dad founds us. He went mental," sid Ron, with a reminiscent gleam in his eyes. "Only time I've ever seen Dad as angry as Mum. Fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since."


"Yeah, well, Percy wouldn't want to work for anyone with a sense of humor, would he?"


PS: Sorry, I know they're alot.:o :p

Lenochka
21-06-06, 04:08
umm keebs are you sure thats not the whole movie script XD




Casey: " Where do the torpedoes come from anyway? "
Babe Raider: " You've heard of bra power? Well, this is bra power! "

- " Life with derek : babe raider episode "

Lonely Istari
21-06-06, 07:54
Keebz, I see you are quite the HP fan! So am I :D :jmp:

Ok, guys and dolls... time for some Monty Python!

ARTHUR: Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
FRENCH GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you, then?
FRENCH GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
FRENCH GUARD: Mind your own business!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man--
FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
FRENCH GUARD: No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a! [sniff]

Janny
21-06-06, 10:50
I can't resist more Futurama quotes...

"My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?" (Fry)

"Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder." (Bender)

"Finally I have a good claw. See, three human females, a number and a king giving himself brain surgery." (Zoidberg)


Lol, I love those quotes :vlol:

My fave from Futurama:

Who are you, and why should I care?
Leela, save me. And yourself I guess... and my banjo... and Fry. (Bender)
See you in Girl Hell. I'll be in Boy Hell - much nicer (can't remember who said it)

Lone Raider
21-06-06, 11:50
[QUOTE=keebz]
"I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...back side."



I've got that one written all over my monitor :D
And yes, I could quote half the Harry Potter series here. Glad someone else did it!

Great quotes, evryone,! I know most of those posted here :D Reminds me to get my Red Dwarf series out again at some point. :D

MY current favourite quote:

Uschi: (whispers): "don't talk about the treasure map here!"
Ranger: (loudly): "What?"
Uschi: (whispers) don't - talk - abut - the - treasure - map here!!"
Ranger: "OK, I'll do it from there."

(Der Schuh des Manitu) :)

And the other:

I've had a man's hairy balls since I was eight. They're the source of my power! They tell me the weather! The time of day!
(Don't remember from where I got this but you can find this and a lot of other great quotes in my Star wars trilogy. (http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=Manymee)

Titanium
21-06-06, 13:09
Fawlty Towers:

Sybil Fawlty: [Sybil suggests a way to get rid of Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P.
Basil Fawlty: Who? Him or the rat? I could get a discount if we get them both done.


Sybil Fawlty: You're looking very happy Basil.
Basil Fawlty: Happy? Ah yes, I remember that.

Basil Fawlty: START. Start, you vicious *******. Oh my God. I'm warning you, if you don't start... I'll count to three. 1, 2, 3, right, that does it.
[Gets out]
Ive had enough of this, Ive had to go through this time and time again. Well this is it, I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing.

Simpsons:

Homer: $50? Oh I wanted a peanut
Homers Mind: $50 can buy you many peanuts!
Homer: Really? Explain how?
Homers Mind: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

:D

Rivendell
21-06-06, 13:17
Fawlty Towers:

Sybil Fawlty: [Sybil suggests a way to get rid of Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P.
Basil Fawlty: Who? Him or the rat? I could get a discount if we get them both done.


Manuel: *Thinks*... Spleep ?! :vlol:

Lone Raider
21-06-06, 13:20
Manuel: *Thinks*... Spleep ?! :vlol:

Yes, unforgettable. We quote that quite often. :d

Hey, I have to tell someone this, my kids (twelve and ten) can do the whole of Blackadder Goes Forth, with accents, mimics, the lot, it's absolutely brilliant, They came out with this some day, we were having dinner and their dad was there for a visit, we were in fits when they'd finished :D

Lara Croft!
21-06-06, 13:56
On the top of my mind....

"Those who can't DO teach-those who can't Each,teach gym"

"There are too many mediocre things in life and love should NOT be one of them.Anything but crazy,passionate,extraordinary love is a waste of our time...""

Legend of Lara
21-06-06, 14:38
Here's one of my faves:
"I'm trying to use my head."
"Then we might as well give up now."
It's my sig also. :D

Lara Croft!
21-06-06, 14:44
One from Seinfeld:

Girlfriend: it's not you,it's me!
George: don't give me the "it's not you,it's me" routine, I invented the "it's not you,it's me"...if it's it anyone..it's me!
Girlfriend: ok alright,it's you!
George: your damn right it's me!

:D


Good one!!!!:D :D :D

Winston_the_butler
21-06-06, 15:36
From The Simpsons

Homer:Hey Ganeesh, wanna peanut?
Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.

Principal Skinner: Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs have come alive thanks to advanced cloning techniques. I'm calling it, Billy and the Clonosaurus.
Apu:Oh, You have got to be kidding sir, first you think of an idea that has already been done, then you give it a title nobody coudld possibly like... (sometime later) ...bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had it!....(sometime after that)...POPULAR OF ALL TIME sir! What WERE YOU THINKING??!?!... I mean, Thank you, come again.

I LOVE THE SIMPSONS!!

will write more later

Alive_and_Funky
21-06-06, 15:40
umm keebs are you sure thats not the whole movie script XD




Casey: " Where do the torpedoes come from anyway? "
Babe Raider: " You've heard of bra power? Well, this is bra power! "

- " Life with derek : babe raider episode "

Life with Derek is one of my fave TV shows! The Babe Raider episode was really funny.

Rivendell
21-06-06, 15:43
Homer: He may have Alll the money in the world, - but there's one thing he can't buy.

Marge: Oh yeah? and what's that?

Homer:..........................a Dinosaur (!)

Trigger_happy
21-06-06, 16:14
[ I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

I love that movie! I love it when he tells him that he's at castle "anthrax."

My only quotes i can think of are:

"Silly rabbit-Trix are for kids"- Oren ihsi kill bill vol 1.

"Im almost annoyed"- Kryten for red dwarf

Lara's Boy
21-06-06, 16:43
I have a stupid one, but one that I like :D

It is from the dancing scene in Mr. and Mrs. Smith:

Brad Pitt: Do you think this will have a happy ending?

Angelina Jolie: Happy endings are for stories that haven't finished yet

Alive_and_Funky
21-06-06, 16:45
Austin Aries: Is it chilly in here?
Interviewer: Yes, it is a bit chilly.
Austin Aries: Yeah, but with a body like this it would be a sin to cover it up.

Prince of world
21-06-06, 16:48
britney : are u ready?
MADONNA : are u?