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Hazzaman
21-07-06, 16:53
what makes it so official well because i started it of course

what is a blondesx mating call??

i think im drunk:p

psychokitten
21-07-06, 16:54
lol you started it off with a shocker :P

In the interests of repeating myself (I told you I can only remember one joke!)

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and quackers :D

sweetPoison
21-07-06, 16:56
lol you started it off with a shocker :P

In the interests of repeating myself (I told you I can only remember one joke!)

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and quackers :D

:D I needed that. :)

Hazzaman
21-07-06, 16:56
:vlol: and i'm not laughing at the joke

Lara's Boy
21-07-06, 17:00
Alrighty, here is mine, and like Psycho it is a repeat from open chat:


There is a blone, brunette, and red head whose car breaks down in the desert. They decide to walk to 'civilization', and each brought something with them. As they walk, to pass time, they explain why they brought their particulars:


Read Head:
"I brought a bottle of water in case we get thirsty"

Brunette:
"I brought candy in case we get hungry"

Then the Blonde:
"I brought the car door so that way, if it gets hot, we can roll down the window"


Dun dun Dun!

Thank you for allowing me my attempt at humor

Hazzaman
21-07-06, 17:03
whats an aussie intellectual?
someone who can understand the plot in "neighbours"

TombRaiderLover
21-07-06, 17:04
Alrighty, here is mine, and like Psycho it is a repeat from open chat:


There is a blone, brunette, and red head whose car breaks down in the desert. They decide to walk to 'civilization', and each brought something with them. As they walk, to pass time, they explain why they brought their particulars:


Read Head:
"I brought a bottle of water in case we get thirsty"

Brunette:
"I brought candy in case we get hungry"

Then the Blonde:
"I brought the car door so that way, if it gets hot, we can roll down the window"


Dun dun Dun!

Thank you for allowing me my attempt at humor
:vlol:

Hazzaman
21-07-06, 17:07
why wasnt jesus born in australia?
because they couldnt find three wise men and a virgin :p

Andromeda66
21-07-06, 17:34
A blonde, a brunette and a red head were stranded on an island. They knew the shore was 50 miles away

The brunette, after some thought , said " Hmm I cant possibly wait here forever for someone to come and rescue us. I'm going to try and swim across."

So she set out and swam 5...10...15 miles but soon got tired and drowned.
Meanwhile, back on the island, the redhead was wondering what became of her companion. Eventually she decide dt try her luck and swim across as well. She swam 5...10...20...25 miles and soon got tired and drowned.

The blonde was now getting bored and wondering if she shoud try swimming across as well. So she set out and swam and swam and swam..10...20...30.........40.......45.......she was close...she could see the shore in the distance but she was beginning to get tired.


So she swam back.

TombRaiderLover
21-07-06, 17:36
:vlol:

Rivendell
21-07-06, 17:46
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain that the father had ever experienced before. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands' blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%.The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the milkman was dead on the porch.

**********

Paddy and Murphy are standing at the top of a cliff. Paddy has a budgie on each of his shoulders and Murphy has a parrot on his. Paddy runs to the edge of the cliff and jumps off giving out a loud scream as he plunges to the bottom and lands in a crumpled heap. Then Murphy jumps off, half way down he pulls a pistol from his pocket and blows the parrots head off before he lands next to his mate. They are both lying there moaning and groaning when paddy turns to murphy and says this budgie jumping is no fun at all, murphy turns his half broken kneck and replies this parrot shootin isn't much better

****************

Guy comes in from shopping at his local B&Q. Tells wife " You won,t believe this, but they have just banned me from ever shopping in their branch again"
" How did you manage that?" wife asks. " Well, some stupid sod in an orange jump suit asked me if I wanted decking, I, luckily got in the first punch"

************

(The phone rings)
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul"
"Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"
** Brief Pause**

"Uh, okay then, .this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
"Okay Daddy, just a minute"

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey?" he asked
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?? We don't have a... Oh crap, ... Is this 486-5731... ?

********

:D

Taleigha
21-07-06, 17:51
Q: whats the height of stupidness?
A: two baldies fighting over a comb.

Q: whats the height of revenge?
A: a lamp post peeing on a dog.

Q: whats the height of frustration?
A: a one-armed-man hanging off a cliff with an itchy crack.

Q: whats the height of evilness?
A: placing a grenade under a persons wheelchair and telling them to run.

thanx y'up XXX

Andromeda66
21-07-06, 17:53
@Rivendell: ouchy wawa :D