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Scottlee
22-08-06, 18:52
For the non-English among you, sickie = day off work where you just pretend to be sick.

1) Know your limits
Depending on the company, you can usually can get away with at least 10 sick days per year before anyone kicks up a stink. With this in mind, you're best off setting 5-7 "sickies" as your minimum amount for one calender year, making sure you save yourself 2-3 in case there comes a time you genuinely are sick.

2) Bad actor
When you call in sick, don't bother putting on a fake cough or trying to sound ill. That's too obvious. Always talk normally. In 99% of genuine illness cases, people still retain their normal voice.

3) Destination Playstation
Don't go shopping when you're pulling a sickie. You might bump into a colleague who just happens to be on holiday, or your manager out getting his lunch. It's okay to go to a mate's house because you won't be outdoors for long, but try to avoid too much unnecessary time out in public. You're better off viewing sickies as opportunities to do some D.I.Y, or to have a love-in, or to catch up with that Playstation game you haven't played for ages i.e. anything that involves staying at home. Save the shopping for your genuine off days.

4) Making a good impression
On those days you genuinely feel ill, it's always a good idea to force yourself into work for an hour or two, even though you know there's no way you'll be able to last the day. When the rest of the company sees you puffing and wheezing and struggling to stay on your feet, they will view you as a never-say-die hero, a person who clearly doesn't want to let sickness get in the way of their work. As a result, when the day of your next sickie comes along, nobody will even think to guess that you're putting it on.

5) Hush hush
Never tell a colleague about your secret ingenuity. If you ever fall out with them, they might tell your boss. Now matter how good it feels to be getting paid for playing Tomb Raider Legend, you musn't share this information with anybody, even your own dog.

6) Making patterns
If you're going to take two sickies in one week, make sure you take them one day after the other. Never take a sickie on Monday, for example, then go back to work on Tuesday, before taking another sickie on Wednesday. If you do this the jig's up. Be warned. Additionally, never take a clear pattern of sickies. For example, don't think to yourself "Hmm, I think I'll take one a month". Instead, do something like this - 1 in Jan, 0 in Feb, 2 in March, 1 in April, 3 in May etc etc.

7) Decorations
If you want to be really clever, follow up a sickie by taking some Lemsip or some cough medicine into the office with you the following day. Place it clearly at the front of your desk where everyone can see it. Hell, just for good measure, take an extra half hour at lunch and tell your boss "It almost got me again there, but I'm determined to beat it. I can't face another afternoon of Trisha".

8) The calm before the storm
Most sickies are spontaneous, but on those occasions you've already decided to take a day off sick long before the event, make some casual hints the day before that you're already not feeling too good. For the last hour at work the day before your sickie, comment that you're a bit off colour, that your throat is sore, that your tummy feels a bit dickie. Whatever.

ChocChipCookie
22-08-06, 18:58
8) The calm before the storm
Most sickies are spontaneous, but on those occasions you've already decided to take a day off sick long before the event, make some casual hints the day before that you're already not feeling too good. For the last hour at work the day before your sickie, comment that you're a bit off colour, that your throat is sore, that your tummy feels a bit dickie. Whatever.

Ha! Sounds familiar ....:pi:

laracroft2122
22-08-06, 19:02
i love this

Trigger_happy
22-08-06, 19:04
you could also add?

" phone a good friend and tell then you wont be in to work, the day before you take a sicky. The on the day, phone work after your friend has arrived. S/he will have spread the word."

Mad Tony
22-08-06, 19:05
Cool.
It's so true! :D

jarhead
22-08-06, 19:06
*prints off*

oh this would be so helpful considering school, thanks :D

Greenkey2
22-08-06, 19:08
"It almost got me again there, but I'm determined to beat it. I can't face another afternoon of Trisha".


:vlol: So true. Whoever invented daytime television must have had their common sense (and taste) surgically removed.

Good ones Scottlee :tmb:

Lara's Boy
22-08-06, 19:13
Hehe....I must admit I have used numbers four, seven, and eight before.....:whi:

Jacob x5
22-08-06, 19:51
:vlol: :D

Hurrah4Lara
22-08-06, 20:28
save yourself 2-3 in case there comes a time you genuinely are sick.
:vlol:

H4L:wve:

Virusbuster
22-08-06, 20:55
This is all too awfully familiar... :pi:

xMiSsCrOfTx
22-08-06, 20:56
I personally approve all of those fine methods. :D ;)

Zep Girl
22-08-06, 22:27
Haha have used them ALOT but got caught out cos I wanted to go to a party and I wanted to go back the nest day so got the train back and went in with alcohol on my breath! How stupid am I? hahaha!