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clairelovestlc
09-10-06, 17:49
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A pair of jump leads walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll
serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm
and says:"A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass
of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy
says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I
know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the
other and says "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a
fire in the craft. unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he
said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a
family in Spain;they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture
of himself to his birth mother. Up on receiving the picture, she tells
her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "But they're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him .....(this is so bad, it's
good)................ a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.

xMiSsCrOfTx
09-10-06, 17:53
LOL, those are pretty good, Claire! :tmb:

jarhead
09-10-06, 17:55
LMFAO :vlol:

They are so funny cause they are soooo cheesy :tmb:

Lavinder
09-10-06, 17:56
LOL, quite funny :)

Lara Croft!
09-10-06, 18:05
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I
know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"


:vlol: :vlol: :vlol:

ChocChipCookie
09-10-06, 18:13
Lol!

Anubis_AF
09-10-06, 18:17
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I
know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

This is just morbid :D

Greenkey2
09-10-06, 18:40
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him .....(this is so bad, it's
good)................ a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.

They're all great but this has to be my favourite :D :vlol:

Andromeda66
09-10-06, 18:44
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him .....(this is so bad, it's
good)................ a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.

That be the one that made me smile :D

pinklaralover
09-10-06, 19:11
those are pretty funny :vlol:

Kamrusepas
09-10-06, 19:13
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"


:vlol:

da tomb raider!
09-10-06, 19:18
Lol, good ones... :D

ace_85
09-10-06, 19:32
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
:vlol: :D

frostfur452
09-10-06, 23:54
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy
says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.


19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him .....(this is so bad, it's
good)................ a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.


:vlol: :vlol: lol those made me crack up

2kool4u
10-10-06, 00:33
wow funny.

StarCroft:AOD
10-10-06, 00:46
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


:D

Thanks for posting.

Autolycus
10-10-06, 11:37
:vlol: LMAO,all funny :D