View Full Version : What Should I Do?

Mad Tony
29-10-06, 22:44
I have got a bit of a situation here.

About 5 years ago, my Dad moved to Australia, before he moved to Australia we were always quite close.
But when he moved I missed him a lot, although I visited him in Australia and we had a good time, in 2002.
But since about 2004, when I went to see him again, we haven't got along so well.
I think it's because we don't really know each other very well, seen as I rarely see him now. And the last few times he's come over to England, we haven't had a very good time. He thinks that I'm completely fine with him being out in Australia, but really I'm not. I've been lying to him for the past 5 years and don't want to ruin it for him, he really likes it out there (he currently lives in Sydney)

It just feels like the father and son bond is gone, but he doesn't really know what I feel.
I have been thinking about righting him an email to tell him what I really think and if there is a chance that he could move back to England. (Problem is, he's just got Australian citizenship out there and thinks I want to move out there as well, but I don't, as you all probably know) And I just don't know what to do.

What should I do?

Thanks. :)

29-10-06, 22:47
Get him to visit more often, or go out there more often, or slowly get into contact more often :tmb:

I doubt the bond has gone, you proberly feel its not their as you dont see him as much as you should. Best I can say is to email/phone him and have a chat etc, and communicate more. I'm sure he's missing you as much as your missing him

Ada the Mental
29-10-06, 22:47
That's quite a situation.:hug:
I think you should better be honest with your father and tell him hoe you really feel.Who knows,maybe if you both talk to each other you'll be able to get along better.

29-10-06, 22:48
Hmm, thats a tuff one. The best thing i can say is do what your heart tells you. :)

Melonie Tomb Raider
30-10-06, 01:19
Let him know how you feel, the whole truth.

He's your father, you should be his top priority, not Australia. He needs to be in your life, it's vitally important. The best thing you can do is be honest and see how he responds to it. I'm sorry that you have lost that bond, it's such a shame, he should have never moved away from you in the first place. Every child needs both their father and their mother, just one isn't quite enough. I hope everything gets sorted out well. :hug: Keep us updated please. :)

30-10-06, 02:14
I'm assuming his move was/ is work related, and as such may be more than just moving home. The most important thing here is talking. ESP isn't taught in most schools, so your father may not know how you feel. Tell him. Good start.

And as a thought, moving over here isn't so bad. Weather craps on yours for a start, and we have proper beaches too. http://bestsmileys.com/water/6.gif

Captain Mazda
30-10-06, 02:51
What should I do?

Talk to him, not a messageboard :/

Seriously, let out all your feelings and remember that a father-son relationship is no different from a guy/girl relationship. If feelings are bottled up or false emotions shown, it won't last for long.

Melonie Tomb Raider
30-10-06, 04:37
Talk to him, not a messageboard :/

He was just asking our advice, I think that's a good thing. I'm sure he will listen and talk to him. :)

30-10-06, 05:42
I agree with Captain Mazda, phone your Dad and let him know how you feel. Especially about going to Australia.

Remember, E-mails etc. are not a good way to communicate how or what you feel.

30-10-06, 07:25
Phone him, have a chat. Plan to have a holiday over their (if you can afford it) when you leave make him feel like all lonely and sad, but dont show too muck emotion youself if you can. Make him hae lots of fun so that when you go he will miss it and wanna see you more, get a web cam, get him to get one if that dont work!

30-10-06, 08:20
I think you need to tell your dad how you're feeling, bottling all your feelings up isn't going to do either of you any good, the chances are he'll know things have changed in your relationship it's bound to being so far apart and he may feel the same way too. Phone him, e-mail him, text him,write him, hell send a carrier pigeon which ever you're more comfortable with.

Good luck MT.

30-10-06, 08:29
Every child needs both their father and their mother, just one isn't quite enough.

Not to get off topic, but I didn't and still don't need my mother. Infact my life was better before she got back into it.

30-10-06, 10:45
If you want my opinion, I think you both have too many expectations from one another when either of you visit. You can't sum months in a few days with each other. You need to keep in touch with your father every day. Call him, just to say hi, how are you doing.
If you keep a daily -or every other day- contact, it will be easier to talk to each other when you visit one another.
Don't expect to sum your life in a few days visit. If you do that you won't have to brake the ice all over again when you meet him face to face.
Bare also in mind that your father might be acting like this in order not to be a burden to you, since you don't have to accept his new way of life.
Give him the green light first and I promise you'll see a big difference in his behaviour.

Mad Tony
30-10-06, 11:16
OK, thanks guys. :hug:
I think i'll tell him exactly how I feel then.

30-10-06, 11:31
I would have to agree with everyone else, talk to your Dad about how your feeling. He may be feeling the same way, you never know.

I hope everything works out for you :wve: