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Thorn
04-11-06, 04:52
So a few days my quasi boyfriend and I made plans (I use that word for a reason) and he said something like "Yeah, we'll see. I can't say anything for sure." Yeah. No ****. That's how it's been for the past 6 months. I'm not against playing it by ear, but do NOT expect me to be waiting by the phone. Do not call me at 11 and ask me to meet you at some ****ing bar. Do not disappear for weeks at a time then leave me a message saying "Where have you been?" Where have I been? Excuse me? No. That was it for me. I've had it. So I said "Yeah. Whatever. Really, I don't actually care if we hangout to night or ever again." He was just like "Huh?" Jackass. What do you think that means? So guess who called me tonight? MmmHmm. I answer, "Yeah?". He says "So what are you wearing?" WHAT THE **** IS THAT! I say "Can I help you?" He says "Is this a bad time?" I say "It's never a bad time, sugar." (I just can't turn it off sometimes.) He laughs and says "Ok what are you doing tonight?" I say "I'm busy." He says "After." I say "That is after." He says "How about Sunday?" I say "It's not happening." He says "****. Ok. Well, I'm sure we'll run into eachother sooner or later." I say "I'm sure." And hung up. I thought he had gotten the point when I said I don't care. An actual "breakup" conversation doesn't feel appropriate because we've just been casually dating (for half a ****ing year). But waiting for him to get the point is sort of killing me. I'm not devastated by the termination of my quasi-relationship. My pride is a little wounded, but it's not like I was in love with the guy. I just really liked him and we always had fun together and I was soooo comfortable around him. The fact that I was always so at ease with him (from day one) is significant to me because I always keep men at arms length. He's seen me in jeans. He's seen me WITHOUT MAKEUP. I totally dropped my walls. For a guy that clearly is not that into me. I thought maybe, just maybe, it could become something real. How naive. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is so over. I have phased out all the men in my life. So now what? Hope no one minds my rant. :D

wantafanta
04-11-06, 06:03
Wow where do I start. Let Dr. Fanta help. Neither of you seems to know what he/she wants from the other. You say you always keep men at arms length. He disappears for weeks. Here's what you need to do. There is no QUASI-BOYFRIEND. You must choose. Either he is just a friend. Or he is your boyfriend. Make up your mind which you want. Sounds to me like you are interested in being more than just friends. You both need to know where the other stands. Maybe he wants to be serious with you but he gets mixed signals and doesn't know how you feel. If you both agree to be just hanging out chums, then that will settle a lot of confusion. But if you are interested in more than that, then he must know about that. Maybe he doesn't know how he feels. Maybe he cares about you like you are part of his family, but that is not the same as a romantic kind of love. This should help - or else mess things up even worse! - No charge.

Melonie Tomb Raider
04-11-06, 06:19
Actually makes a lot of sense fanta. :)

My personal opinion? He really doesn't care much about you, Clara. He wants you around whenever he doesn't have anything else going on, when he's bored. Sounds like that to me anyway. Forget about him, keep this ended before you get too emotionally involved, becasue you will only set yourself up for heartbreak.

Everyone has somebody, and this guy is not your somebody.

Lone Raider
05-11-06, 20:56
Sounds like a git :) just drop him. You would know if he more than liked you.

Mona Sax
05-11-06, 21:01
Doesn't sound like the right guy for a serious relationship.
He's seen me in jeans. He's seen me WITHOUT MAKEUP. I totally dropped my walls.
Sorry, but that kind of made me smile. ;)

Catapharact
05-11-06, 21:35
Well my statement to this is this:

Do you KNOW who you want to be with? Do you HONESTLY know?

And by far if you gonna let this little experience scare you and make you run then you might as well plan on becomming the feminist crazy cat lady Lol! (Stereotype I know... Don't throw rocks at me.)

So just add this guy as a notch on your bad list and keep on Trucking. If you chicken out (Which personally... I think you are about to do,) you'll fall in that ever inescapeable circle of disasterous dates.

DragonDan
05-11-06, 21:42
Some guys have no clue how to treat women. I'm not saying I do (although I always treat my girlfriend with respect), but this person does not seem to have any deep feelings for you.
Relationships, even when the two involved really dig eachother, can be difficult. If this dude is not that into you, then take it as a learning experience and move on. That is all you can really do.
Hope our opinions help!
Daniel