Winston_the_butler
18-12-06, 03:18
Tomb Raider: Rose of Sharon
The story takes place after the TRL saga, when Lara has to race to save the planet she's sent to the brink of distruction. Only by interpreting one of the most read texts of the past can Lara hope to find a way out of total armageddon.
So far TR:ROS is five chapters and 3,289 words. The story is just beginning, but I'd like some input from the people who know Lara best.
should I post it right here? Or is there a better way to do this? maybe just an exerpt for now?
EXERPT FROM, CHAPTER 5 :Tomb Raider: Rose of Sharon:
5
“The papers from Mr. Hersko are-“
“It’s DOCTOR Hersko!” Professor Ariel said as he interrupted his secretary, “I swear Sarah, you can’t simply remember a man’s title anymore can you?”
“I’m sorry sir,” his secretary said shyly, “I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”
“Thank you Sar-AH!” As the door of his office slammed shut, he was startled as he found Lara Croft, waiting patiently behind his office door, cleaning one of her pistols.
“Oh. It’s you Lara. Did you get it?”
Lara’s expression turned to one of mildly confused interest.
“The flower!” Ariel said.
Lara smiled larger than she had for quite a while. Suddenly her demeanor changed. “What flower professor?” she asked, raising her gun to eye level, and moving a step closer to the now horrified man, a look of utter seriousness on her face.
The professor was confused. She raised her voice. “WHAT flower professor?! How the bloody hell did you know I’d find that there?”
“Lara, I just um… I assumed-“
“Assumed what? That I’d buy a bogus story about you walking in and finding this room miners had just happened to come upon? I did Ariel.” Lara stepped around the desk, keeping both her sights and her eyes on the now trembling Dean of Students.
“So I went there, and only the basic plot of your little story fit. I was almost killed, and knowing you aren’t one I should immediately dismiss as another person trying to murder me, I came here to give you another shot at getting the story straight. Maybe I had misheard you.” Lara pushed the frightened man down; he landed squarely in his office chair, which wheeled backward until it hit the far wall of his office a few feet away. Lara sauntered over and pressed the gun into his chest making the man cough for breath.
“But when I came here, before I could even try to help you clear your name, you had to erase any trace of innocence you had in my mind by mentioning something you weren’t supposed to know existed.” Lara finally relented and stepped back, lowering the gun to her side and looking painfully at the professor. Then she asked a question so simple, even the he could answer it somehow.
“Why?” Lara said shrugging as she did so, looking Ariel in the eyes with the most pained look that she could manage.
They stood for about three minutes before the professor finally spoke.
“I can’t tell you.” He said, his hands twitching nervously.
“You know you can. You know I never reveal my sources,” Lara tried to assure him.
“You don’t know. You have no clue… I simply cannot tell you Lara,” Ariel said, his hands still twitching. Now if Lara had paid enough attention to the man’s shaky hands, she would have noticed a familiar pattern. Unfortunately she was too filled with rage to notice the man’s hands spelling out the phrase, “The room has wire. They listen,” in sign language. Luckily for her, the silent Alister back home was jotting down the message silently due to Lara’s built in camera on her headset.
“You don’t seem to understand Ariel. You don’t have an option here. Tell me WHY you would do this to me?” Lara said, again pointing her gun at the professor, “Who put you up to this? Tell me something!”
The professor studied the floor a moment and lifted his head. Looking past the barrel of the gun, now inches from his forehead, he looked up directly at Lara.
“Give it to me.”
“What?” Lara said, her face in true disbelief.
“Give me the flower. Walk out of here. Don’t come back.”
Lara just stood in disbelief. She lowered her gun. She holstered it. “I’ll do half of that,” Lara said, walking to the door, keeping her gaze on Ariel.
“Lara no! Please! Just give it to me! I’m sorry I got you into this! Just, please!”
Lara opened the door, and stormed through the startled secretary’s office. She threw open the door to the hall and headed back to the lot where the Tomb Rover was parked. “Lara!” said Alister crackling over the headset.
“Please Alister. Not now.” Lara said, reaching up to her ear.
“Lara wait, listen to-“ Alister was cut off as Lara turned off the headset and put it in her pocket. She walked out the front doors and got into the Rover. Lara sat and thought to herself for a while. Then she started up the car and drove out of the parking lot, with an unannounced follower in tow.
The story takes place after the TRL saga, when Lara has to race to save the planet she's sent to the brink of distruction. Only by interpreting one of the most read texts of the past can Lara hope to find a way out of total armageddon.
So far TR:ROS is five chapters and 3,289 words. The story is just beginning, but I'd like some input from the people who know Lara best.
should I post it right here? Or is there a better way to do this? maybe just an exerpt for now?
EXERPT FROM, CHAPTER 5 :Tomb Raider: Rose of Sharon:
5
“The papers from Mr. Hersko are-“
“It’s DOCTOR Hersko!” Professor Ariel said as he interrupted his secretary, “I swear Sarah, you can’t simply remember a man’s title anymore can you?”
“I’m sorry sir,” his secretary said shyly, “I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”
“Thank you Sar-AH!” As the door of his office slammed shut, he was startled as he found Lara Croft, waiting patiently behind his office door, cleaning one of her pistols.
“Oh. It’s you Lara. Did you get it?”
Lara’s expression turned to one of mildly confused interest.
“The flower!” Ariel said.
Lara smiled larger than she had for quite a while. Suddenly her demeanor changed. “What flower professor?” she asked, raising her gun to eye level, and moving a step closer to the now horrified man, a look of utter seriousness on her face.
The professor was confused. She raised her voice. “WHAT flower professor?! How the bloody hell did you know I’d find that there?”
“Lara, I just um… I assumed-“
“Assumed what? That I’d buy a bogus story about you walking in and finding this room miners had just happened to come upon? I did Ariel.” Lara stepped around the desk, keeping both her sights and her eyes on the now trembling Dean of Students.
“So I went there, and only the basic plot of your little story fit. I was almost killed, and knowing you aren’t one I should immediately dismiss as another person trying to murder me, I came here to give you another shot at getting the story straight. Maybe I had misheard you.” Lara pushed the frightened man down; he landed squarely in his office chair, which wheeled backward until it hit the far wall of his office a few feet away. Lara sauntered over and pressed the gun into his chest making the man cough for breath.
“But when I came here, before I could even try to help you clear your name, you had to erase any trace of innocence you had in my mind by mentioning something you weren’t supposed to know existed.” Lara finally relented and stepped back, lowering the gun to her side and looking painfully at the professor. Then she asked a question so simple, even the he could answer it somehow.
“Why?” Lara said shrugging as she did so, looking Ariel in the eyes with the most pained look that she could manage.
They stood for about three minutes before the professor finally spoke.
“I can’t tell you.” He said, his hands twitching nervously.
“You know you can. You know I never reveal my sources,” Lara tried to assure him.
“You don’t know. You have no clue… I simply cannot tell you Lara,” Ariel said, his hands still twitching. Now if Lara had paid enough attention to the man’s shaky hands, she would have noticed a familiar pattern. Unfortunately she was too filled with rage to notice the man’s hands spelling out the phrase, “The room has wire. They listen,” in sign language. Luckily for her, the silent Alister back home was jotting down the message silently due to Lara’s built in camera on her headset.
“You don’t seem to understand Ariel. You don’t have an option here. Tell me WHY you would do this to me?” Lara said, again pointing her gun at the professor, “Who put you up to this? Tell me something!”
The professor studied the floor a moment and lifted his head. Looking past the barrel of the gun, now inches from his forehead, he looked up directly at Lara.
“Give it to me.”
“What?” Lara said, her face in true disbelief.
“Give me the flower. Walk out of here. Don’t come back.”
Lara just stood in disbelief. She lowered her gun. She holstered it. “I’ll do half of that,” Lara said, walking to the door, keeping her gaze on Ariel.
“Lara no! Please! Just give it to me! I’m sorry I got you into this! Just, please!”
Lara opened the door, and stormed through the startled secretary’s office. She threw open the door to the hall and headed back to the lot where the Tomb Rover was parked. “Lara!” said Alister crackling over the headset.
“Please Alister. Not now.” Lara said, reaching up to her ear.
“Lara wait, listen to-“ Alister was cut off as Lara turned off the headset and put it in her pocket. She walked out the front doors and got into the Rover. Lara sat and thought to herself for a while. Then she started up the car and drove out of the parking lot, with an unannounced follower in tow.