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View Full Version : Rant: Cyber Culture lacks emotional balance.


Catapharact
25-12-06, 18:54
Ok I don't do this often but these things needs to be aired out.

I am totally intolerent of extremism in any form. I don't care if you're a terrorist, and Extreme right of left winger or an extreme narcissit, a Powderpuff, or a Jerkoff. Learn to achieve emotional balance.

Once I log in to the worldwide web every now and then, I get the same result. I either get total emos, total *******s or total desperate Man mongers (I am talking about the general WWW ppl, not this forum ;). Put your pitchforks down.) Just the other night, I was was giving this new IM a try and lo and behold I got a chat request from someone I had a few convos with in the past. Well after a few introductions, I did happen to mention to her that I was happily married with a wonderful woman. Gotta say there was this uncomfortable pause on her end. After that, she so happens to mention that her boyfriend broke up with her and she wouldn't mind "hooking up" with me.

Uhhhh... Didn't I just say I was married? Well she didn't seem to care. Well chiqa, I DO! Marriage may not mean to many in this world anymore but it has significance to ME! Have some respect for my sacred bond to my wife.

Seems like more and more ppl need to snap out of virtual daydreams and face reality sooner rather then later. I will give an ear and listen to what you have to say if you're going though a tough time and even give you a shoulder to cry on if I have to. After that, I will give you my take on the situation and how you can solve your problem. But there is a difference between a kind gesture and commitment.

I really hope people can find balance in their lives. Overexurting in anything is not healthy in anyway; Especially cooking up senerios which have a remote chance of comming true.

Night Crawler
25-12-06, 19:10
Welcome to the internet. ;)

Forwen
25-12-06, 19:12
Cyber space means little control and an even smaller risk of consequences. Fortunately it works both ways - you can interrupt an inconvenient acquaintance at any time with little risk you'll be pestered afterwards in your offline, everyday life.

But "little control" also means that you can behave however you wish when you're online without being actually confronted or verified. Compared to real-life restrictions you can be sure that very few of these Casanovas/vixens is as radical in the reality as they're online. There's nothing wrong with that - bless the freedom of Internet before google gets it all :p

Catapharact
25-12-06, 19:18
Well again, as you said its a double edged sword. Its not that I am not open to internet freedom of expression, but rather spew out incoherent jargen without second thought as to what they are saying and what the implications of it are.

You wouldn't believe as to how many so called "White Supremacists" I come across almost everyday online Lol! However what worries me is that some of these loons who let their delusion take over go out and then commit some horrid act rather than sitting down and actually confornting as to what is haunting them.

BlackGrey
25-12-06, 19:37
You forgot to mention it's full of idiots :wve:

Catapharact
25-12-06, 20:13
Term open to argument.

People seem to lable anyone an idiot who merely mentions an argument against the belief of the major Populus. All the person may be trying to do is play Devil's Advocate and he gets labled as a Devil.

A discussion is a discussion; A POV is a POV. But be sure to place it as YOUR POV. Do not emphisize that view on all. because not everyone thinks the way you do.

But being discreet, objective and to the point with clarification helps to avoid confrontations.

rika2
25-12-06, 20:17
I seem to notice this more and more... I tought I was the only one... :whi:

Mr.Burns
25-12-06, 20:30
Term open to argument.

People seem to lable anyone an idiot who merely mentions an argument against the belief of the major Populus. All the person may be trying to do is play Devil's Advocate and he gets labled as a Devil.

A discussion is a discussion; A POV is a POV. But be sure to place it as YOUR POV. Do not emphisize that view on all. because not everyone thinks the way you do.

But being discreet, objective and to the point with clarification helps to avoid confrontations.


That's what happens when one deals with the close minded and ill informed. Hence why I rarely get into current events or political discussions here. The level of civility usually drops like a rock. As to the Devil's Advocate comment of yours, I've noticed that seems to happen to you alot here.;)

dbot
25-12-06, 20:37
A discussion is a discussion; A POV is a POV. But be sure to place it as YOUR POV. Do not emphisize that view on all. because not everyone thinks the way you do.




I. Hate. That.

I dont know how many times someone online has said something, only for some snarky douchenozzle to come back with YOU IDIOT EVERYONE KNOWS BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Someone online came up with the formula, it was something like INTERNET+ANONYMITY=TOTAL *******

Nothing proves that point more than probably 90% of the people on xbox live who have a microphone. Im sure anyone whos played halo 2 will know what im talking about. You get into the room, one guy comes in, and precedes to shoot his mouth off. "Ooohh yeah, just so everyone knows, I'm ****in awesome, I'm probably gonna kill everyone here." THEN when youre in game, you sneak up behind him, and crack him in the back and get yourself a nice easy kill. THEN he shoots his mouth off about how gay you are and how cheap that was and RRRR.

Props on calling this out, man.

Apofiss
25-12-06, 21:00
Interesting topic, Catapharact. :) I wonder how do you manage to get all those "total emos, total *******s or total desperate Man mongers" on your way? :D

Anyways, net is like filled with fine folk and umm.. lets say.. really not so fine folk, so why not to keep away from the places with not so fine folk? (considering it's net so mostly you have a choise) Sounds kind of simple, na?

Forwen
25-12-06, 21:35
Uh, I think I've missed something. Who's the idiot?

Catapharact
26-12-06, 01:25
That's what happens when one deals with the close minded and ill informed. Hence why I rarely get into current events or political discussions here. The level of civility usually drops like a rock. As to the Devil's Advocate comment of yours, I've noticed that seems to happen to you alot here.;)

I blame that on a lack of Libra's on this forum ;) LOL! (Yes people, my wife is into astrology; and man it gives me such an insight on people Lol!)

Actually, Close-mindedness happens when the major group tries to staisfy the norm of a community. As much as people refuse to see it, they should notice that though they may refuse the ideals of the outside world, once they enter in a forum, the usually are afraid to go against as to what is considered the norm around a community on fears of being ostracized.

Apofiss:

Untrue. Actually, I have come across quite a lot of people with creative and insightful views and have given me a chance to reflect upon my own life and norsm. However, they are rare and few. THAT is what worries me. Seems like society in general just likes to take sides or stay away from an issue rather than solving the problem. In the end, the problem remains unsolved and people are at each other's throats for either being "Too nice" or "Too mean."

That is why I emphisize emotional balance. Learn to be objective where you need to be.

JANKERSON
26-12-06, 02:24
Ok I don't do this often but these things needs to be aired out.

I am totally intolerent of extremism in any form. I don't care if you're a terrorist, and Extreme right of left winger or an extreme narcissit, a Powderpuff, or a Jerkoff. Learn to achieve emotional balance.

Once I log in to the worldwide web every now and then, I get the same result. I either get total emos, total *******s or total desperate Man mongers (I am talking about the general WWW ppl, not this forum ;). Put your pitchforks down.) Just the other night, I was was giving this new IM a try and lo and behold I got a chat request from someone I had a few convos with in the past. Well after a few introductions, I did happen to mention to her that I was happily married with a wonderful woman. Gotta say there was this uncomfortable pause on her end. After that, she so happens to mention that her boyfriend broke up with her and she wouldn't mind "hooking up" with me.

Uhhhh... Didn't I just say I was married? Well she didn't seem to care. Well chiqa, I DO! Marriage may not mean to many in this world anymore but it has significance to ME! Have some respect for my sacred bond to my wife.

Seems like more and more ppl need to snap out of virtual daydreams and face reality sooner rather then later. I will give an ear and listen to what you have to say if you're going though a tough time and even give you a shoulder to cry on if I have to. After that, I will give you my take on the situation and how you can solve your problem. But there is a difference between a kind gesture and commitment.

I really hope people can find balance in their lives. Overexurting in anything is not healthy in anyway; Especially cooking up senerios which have a remote chance of comming true.


Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days?

Marriage doesn't as mean much to people as it used too years ago. People that are married hardly see each other with their work schedules the way they are getting. So what happens is their marriages start to fall apart and they assume the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Plus people are so self consumed these days they really can't think of anyone else other than themselves. It's getting worse, not better, the divorce rate just keeps going up every year.

Funny you bring up the topic narcissist, as that is the MAIN PROBLEM with today's Society along with the love for money, Adultery and other issues. They all can be tracked back to narcissism.

CerebralAssassin
26-12-06, 03:50
Nothing proves that point more than probably 90% of the people on xbox live who have a microphone. Im sure anyone whos played halo 2 will know what im talking about. You get into the room, one guy comes in, and precedes to shoot his mouth off. "Ooohh yeah, just so everyone knows, I'm ****in awesome, I'm probably gonna kill everyone here." THEN when youre in game, you sneak up behind him, and crack him in the back and get yourself a nice easy kill. THEN he shoots his mouth off about how gay you are and how cheap that was and RRRR.

Props on calling this out, man.

lmao...what have you reminded me of? :vlol: there's is NOTHING that I HAVEN'T heard over that microphone!!!profanity,yelling,people giving you ****,farting noises,music playing in the background, singing, you name it...:D

Andariel
26-12-06, 05:10
Lmao! It's just the internet. Chill. Nothing wrong with being emotional unless you're a testosterone driven male that can't stand a show of emotion. Anyway it's not like you could get people to be emotionally balanced. Some don't want to be! Also since it's the internet ignorance will weed out the people you don't like.

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f400/DrusillaS/silly/seriousbusiness.jpg

Cochrane
26-12-06, 07:28
The combination of anonymity and large reach found in the internet lends itself very well to such all of those extremist points of view. One can see this every day. I act more agressively and am more extreme when defending my points of view in the internet than in real life, too, and I have a huge number of posts where I wondered after two days "What made me write this embarrasing crap?"

I don't think this can really be changed in the short term. The best thing is just to be extremely tolerant (or ignorant) towards those who go too far. At the same time, one ought to try not to cross the lines oneself. If enough people try, the internet can be a nice place after all.

Forwen
26-12-06, 13:37
Actually, Close-mindedness happens when the major group tries to staisfy the norm of a community. As much as people refuse to see it, they should notice that though they may refuse the ideals of the outside world, once they enter in a forum, the usually are afraid to go against as to what is considered the norm around a community on fears of being ostracized.
I don't think that fear is the case - in fact, quite the contrary. Your description perfectly fits situations in real life, where one is too afraid to go against the group they belong to usually because they're dependent on it to some degree and, in case of conflict, cannot leave it at will. Neighbours, co-workers, even friends - one needs their sympathy to operate more or less normally in the shared environment, so guarding their own opinion is often not worth the risk.

It's true, ironically, that the risk of being ostracised is even higher on the Internet, but it's nothing new that most of the groups you can find on the Internet are rather... tribal in their nature. That means strong hierarchy based on the word of the few "most experienced" and hard times for noobs that try to be original meh. You basically need to first work your way up in order to set standards for discussion. That doesn't mean, though, that it's fear that prevents people from confronting these standards - it's, once again, the luxury of anonymity and freedom. In the real life you cannot abandon the person you are; Internet, on the other hand, is all about playing roles. So you can basically engage in a fight without worrying about all but non-existent consequences should the other side win. People have the need to pick sides and fight other groups - and online conflicts are conveniently black and white when it comes to it.
Seems like society in general just likes to take sides or stay away from an issue rather than solving the problem. In the end, the problem remains unsolved and people are at each other's throats for either being "Too nice" or "Too mean."
Is the Internet about solving problems though? Picking sides is easy here. Seems like people need to vent their frustration about the fact that they need to live their real lives from one compromise to the other.

I can't say it's the case with this forum though - frankly, it's one of the most civilised places I've seen in the Web that aren't entirely moderated.

Catapharact
26-12-06, 15:33
Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days?

Marriage doesn't as mean much to people as it used too years ago. People that are married hardly see each other with their work schedules the way they are getting. So what happens is their marriages start to fall apart and they assume the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Plus people are so self consumed these days they really can't think of anyone else other than themselves. It's getting worse, not better, the divorce rate just keeps going up every year.

Funny you bring up the topic narcissist, as that is the MAIN PROBLEM with today's Society along with the love for money, Adultery and other issues. They all can be tracked back to narcissism.

Hmmm... There would have been a ime where I would have said that self-preservation comes first (that way you can take care of your partner even better.)

However, seeing things in a new light so to speak, I agree. I damed made sure I have had time for everything else other than work or studies. Its like almost as if this balance is what I have been wanting all along in my life and I never realized it. Guess things just fall into place when you're with the right person ;).

I don't think that fear is the case - in fact, quite the contrary. Your description perfectly fits situations in real life, where one is too afraid to go against the group they belong to usually because they're dependent on it to some degree and, in case of conflict, cannot leave it at will. Neighbours, co-workers, even friends - one needs their sympathy to operate more or less normally in the shared environment, so guarding their own opinion is often not worth the risk.

It's true, ironically, that the risk of being ostracised is even higher on the Internet, but it's nothing new that most of the groups you can find on the Internet are rather... tribal in their nature. That means strong hierarchy based on the word of the few "most experienced" and hard times for noobs that try to be original meh. You basically need to first work your way up in order to set standards for discussion. That doesn't mean, though, that it's fear that prevents people from confronting these standards - it's, once again, the luxury of anonymity and freedom. In the real life you cannot abandon the person you are; Internet, on the other hand, is all about playing roles. So you can basically engage in a fight without worrying about all but non-existent consequences should the other side win. People have the need to pick sides and fight other groups - and online conflicts are conveniently black and white when it comes to it.

Is the Internet about solving problems though? Picking sides is easy here. Seems like people need to vent their frustration about the fact that they need to live their real lives from one compromise to the other.

I can't say it's the case with this forum though - frankly, it's one of the most civilised places I've seen in the Web that aren't entirely moderated.

Again I see it as a double edged sword. It really gives a person an insight as to what the general unbiased view on a topic is. I get more impressions as towhat people think over the internet then anywhere else (Unless they end up realizing that their IP can be tracked and tagged Lol!) Venting out ones frustrations is one thing; Unloading your crap onto others is something else all togather. As I said before, there is a difference vetween a kind gesture and a commitment. Being Sympathetic to you or your problems does not make it my obligation to make you feel better; Only you can do that.

Again, yes I agree with your analogy of a tribe. It is why I say again that those with a more emotional stable outlook (or a very pretty face ;) Lol!) tend to secure a more meaningful niche in a forum or a community. While others, its usually the same "Drama" over and over again.

Chug a Bug
26-12-06, 16:02
Ok I don't do this often but these things needs to be aired out.

I am totally intolerent of extremism in any form. I don't care if you're a terrorist, and Extreme right of left winger or an extreme narcissit, a Powderpuff, or a Jerkoff. Learn to achieve emotional balance.

Politics forums are like that. It tends to polarise people. A lot. People do tend to hide behind the anonymity of the internet and say things they probably woudn't say if they were face to face with these people I expect.

Once I log in to the worldwide web every now and then, I get the same result. I either get total emos, total *******s or total desperate Man mongers (I am talking about the general WWW ppl, not this forum ;). Put your pitchforks down.) Just the other night, I was was giving this new IM a try and lo and behold I got a chat request from someone I had a few convos with in the past. Well after a few introductions, I did happen to mention to her that I was happily married with a wonderful woman. Gotta say there was this uncomfortable pause on her end. After that, she so happens to mention that her boyfriend broke up with her and she wouldn't mind "hooking up" with me.

Really? Are you sure it's not just you? It's never happened to me. Umm.... who is this person, could you send me details.... ok I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I've been single way too long.

As a general point it depends on the forum in my experiance every one I've ever been on is different, and I've been on a lot. Theres another forum I visit where just about anything goes: shouting, swearing, you name it, it happens. There are moderators but as long as it's not actually illegal, rascist or homophobic then pretty much anything goes. Even the mods swear at people. I'm not saying I like it and I rarely post anything as I'm not keen on getting my head bitten off, I read rather than post some of the conversations are very interesting nonetheless. You either develop a very thick skin or you don't post.

The point is the internet is a varied place... I guess.

interstellardave
26-12-06, 16:36
Many people, in general, lack emotional balance in todays modern societies. It's been in fashion for over a decade now to have some kind of problem that can be diagnosed--or at least that someone (or you) can use to label yourself so that you can be absolved of having to behave in an adult or, at the very least, a civilized manner.

You have ADHD, you were abused, you're "emo", etc... those things, and others, have become almost badges of honor to a lot of people. You have a problem, so you're not responsible anymore. You can take prescription drugs and people can feel sorry for you, etc. People need to take care of poor little-old-you, so you don't really have to grow up, do you? The world is becoming quickly populated by people in their 20's who have the emotional maturity of young teenagers...

JANKERSON
26-12-06, 17:06
Many people, in general, lack emotional balance in todays modern societies. It's been in fashion for over a decade now to have some kind of problem that can be diagnosed--or at least that someone (or you) can use to label yourself so that you can be absolved of having to behave in an adult or, at the very least, a civilized manner.

You have ADHD, you were abused, you're "emo", etc... those things, and others, have become almost badges of honor to a lot of people. You have a problem, so you're not responsible anymore. You can take prescription drugs and people can feel sorry for you, etc. People need to take care of poor little-old-you, so you don't really have to grow up, do you? The world is becoming quickly populated by people in their 20's who have the emotional maturity of young teenagers...


Yep...... More like 8 year olds really. :rolleyes:

Tombcool
26-12-06, 18:33
Come on people, do any of you have a heart? Some people can't seek emotional balance, what happens if they have a disease or disability which makes them extremely sad? Those people can't control those emotions and have to let it out in sometimes a good way or a bad way.

Also, these people might not have any friends in "real" life and need to express it online a lot because of that.

One last thing, if your SO bothered by it, why don't you ignore it? As long as it doesn't affect you than ignore it.

Simple.:ton:

Catapharact
26-12-06, 23:33
Tombcool, did you for once get a chance to look at other posts of the people who posted them?

This is exactly what I mean by lack of objectivity. Dave has to be one of the most considerate soft-hearted person with a clear view on things. He clearly defined the problem without pointing fingers at any specific forum or anything. He looked at both sides of the situation and gave his view (from what I can telll anyway :p.)

Chug-a-Bug:

LOL! I don't know man... I guess I am the one who needs to re-evaluate as to who I decide to be kind to. There was a time where I decided to just go pure objective and just shut myself off from any personal posts regarding personal problems all togather (this forum can testify for that aspect Lol!) However, I guess one can't just stay in the corner and ingnore a person in need. However, there is a limit to everything. Some people just abuse that good nature in people wayyy too much.

Forwen
26-12-06, 23:37
However, there is a limit to everything. Some people just abuse that good nature in people wayyy too much.
Psychic vampires anyone? ;)

Catapharact
26-12-06, 23:49
More like good mood leeches :rolleyes:. What's worse, once you point out the fault, in comes the text waterworks.

"You're mean!" "Why did you ahve to say that?!" "Don't you care about me anymore???"

Gosh... Sometimes I really wish someone can just rip sensitivity right out of my heart Lol! (Nah! I don't mean that.)

Forwen
27-12-06, 00:00
More like good mood leeches :rolleyes:. What's worse, once you point out the fault, in comes the text waterworks.

"You're mean!" "Why did you ahve to say that?!" "Don't you care about me anymore???"

Gosh... Sometimes I really wish someone can just rip sensitivity right out of my heart Lol! (Nah! I don't mean that.)
Are you reading Open Chat now by chance? ;)

Anyway, I can't really say that I can sympathise with you on this fully - for some reason I never have to deal with such behaviour. I can only hope that your openness to people is a cause of frustration occassionally at most.

Joseph
27-12-06, 00:25
Ok I don't do this often but these things needs to be aired out.

I am totally intolerent of extremism in any form. I don't care if you're a terrorist, and Extreme right of left winger or an extreme narcissit, a Powderpuff, or a Jerkoff. Learn to achieve emotional balance.

Once I log in to the worldwide web every now and then, I get the same result. I either get total emos, total *******s or total desperate Man mongers
Learn to achieve emotional balance, Catapharact. ;)

Catapharact
27-12-06, 02:28
Uh-uh Joseph, You are NOT gonna use your inner deep penetrating tactics :p.

Well... Personally, things have gotten better around here :). Not as much as I would like it to be but one can't have his cake and eat it too Lol!