PDA

View Full Version : Bullying


~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 21:26
This might seem like a stupid question but my friend turned on me, tries to turn people on me and threatens to spread stuff around the school, does anybody know how I can respond? Or anything so that it wont hurt so badly.

Chloe xoxoxo

scion05
19-01-07, 21:27
If you know what she's going to do. Tell someone high up.
Dont go to any old person. Go to your parents or your DEPUTIES :)
That sorted it for me :)

danitiwa
19-01-07, 21:28
Aye...I would love to help you but I'm not too good myself with stuff like that. Ask Mr. Burns, he knew what to do about my deep depression lol. :D

AmericanAssassin
19-01-07, 21:28
Beat them up.









Just kidding. Ignore them or inform your school.

Lew
19-01-07, 21:29
Make a rumour up about them, Make yourself cooler than them, well try to :D Make different friends I do, I have like alot of different groups who I goto when something happens.

Sofitegan
19-01-07, 21:31
You dont have to put up with ****heads like her.

Tell someone, like a parent or a teacher.

failing that, tell her where to stick it and ignore her as best you can.

i hope it all works out for you. :hug: :)

KurtisLonely
19-01-07, 21:32
first fight with them, secondly you kill them and thirth you have a happy ending :) (joke)

nah, just go talk.. and if that doesn't work go screaming, if that doesn't work... wel.. then you have to fight ;)

~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 21:34
:D Thanks all of you! I was crying to my mum earlier and she said the best thing I can do is ignore it but it doesnt stop it from hurting. I'm not sure if she will tell rumours but I dont wanna make her worse by ****ing her off too. :hea:

Catapharact
19-01-07, 21:37
Now that everyone is done with idiocy:

A few steps:

1) Confront the person. Tell him/her outright as to what's the problem. Tell to to say it right there so that it can be cleared up.

2) Tell others to mind their own busniness. This situation is between you and the person in question; Not them.

3) Once the problem is clear and its not reasonable, point it out to the person as to how irration his/her anger towards the situation is.

4) If all else fails, walk away. If they still want a confrontation... well then you are out of options other than retaliation.

xMiSsCrOfTx
19-01-07, 21:38
If you can't take anymore and you're just tired of it, tell someone. Principal at your school, teacher, just let someone know. Hopefully they'll solve it and not just brush it off like I've seen over and over.

~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 21:41
I'm not a very strong person, I mean it doesnt take a lot to make me cry, I've only been putting up with it for a little while as we fell out in the last lesson at school but I've already had enough. I guess I'm gonna have to tolerate it a bit longer...and thanks.

danitiwa
19-01-07, 21:43
:D Thanks all of you! I was crying to my mum earlier and she said the best thing I can do is ignore it but it doesnt stop it from hurting. I'm not sure if she will tell rumours but I dont wanna make her worse by ****ing her off too. :hea:

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/3918/luvcj7.gif (http://imageshack.us)

Hope it cheers you up. :D

PLUS if she makes up some stupid rumor, you don't HAVE to give a ****, I mean if you know they're false that's all that counts right? Don't take that kind of crap from *****es ok? I may be pathetic, but I am also tough. One thing to do is just walk up to her and tell her to get off your back.

Catapharact
19-01-07, 21:44
I'm not a very strong person, I mean it doesnt take a lot to make me cry, I've only been putting up with it for a little while as we fell out in the last lesson at school but I've already had enough. I guess I'm gonna have to tolerate it a bit longer...and thanks.

That is one of the reasons why this person is taking advantage of you and bullying you. Being nice isn't a bad thing but there is a limit. Once the person gets confrontational, all bets are off.

If you want this person out of your hair, you have to take a stand. This person has no right to treat you in any bad manner. Defend your rights.

~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 21:45
I love that avatar! Do you mind if I use it on MSN?

EDIT: I know the only reason they're doing this is because we had a row. I'm not going back to school until Thursday as i'll be in Paris and I dont want it to spoil my holiday

danitiwa
19-01-07, 21:46
I love that avatar! Do you mind if I use it on MSN?

No, it is infact for MSN. So go ahead :D

again: DO NOT LET THAT GOODY GOODY TWO SHOES BOSS YOU AROUND.
Tell her to bug off? K?

~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 21:52
I love all your replies! My problem is that if I tell them to bug off or whatever, she'll be with her friends and they'll all shout and upset me more. And my friends are actually still friends with this girl so I dont know. Nobody knows I'm going to Paris so they might think I'm skipping school because of it all.

Mr.Burns
19-01-07, 21:54
That is one of the reasons why this person is taking advantage of you and bullying you. Being nice isn't a bad thing but there is a limit. Once the person gets confrontational, all bets are off.

If you want this person out of your hair, you have to take a stand. This person has no right to treat you in any bad manner. Defend your rights.


Agreed. Chloe's fear is empowering the bully to further antagonize her. She must either stand up to this person without showing fear or otherwise get someone in the school's administration to step in. Bullies can sense and thrive off of their victim's fear, which I find quite amusing since they are by nature, quite afraid themselves.

Chloe:

If your friends are friends with this antagonizer, then perhaps they aren't your friends. Friendship is, among many things, about loyalty. What you just said shows me that they don't show much if any to you. YOU CAN NOT LET THEM PUSH YOU AROUND. That behavior is precisely what will make things worse for you.

danitiwa
19-01-07, 21:54
I love all your replies! My problem is that if I tell them to bug off or whatever, she'll be with her friends and they'll all shout and upset me more. And my friends are actually still friends with this girl so I dont know. Nobody knows I'm going to Paris so they might think I'm skipping school because of it all.

Now that's a problem there. See if they don't beleive you (you should tell them what that girl did) then maybe they're not very good friends.:(

Catapharact
19-01-07, 21:55
Well they know the reason and they are still being confrontational. That means its an unreasonable argument on their part.

You already explained your position and if they don't want to accept it then the heck with them. If they still want to pursue it then you have to retaliate.

danitiwa
19-01-07, 21:56
Well they know the reason and they are still being confrontational. That means its an unreasonable argument on their part.

You already explained your position and if they don't want to accept it then the heck with them. If they still want to pursue it then you have to retaliate.

Wow, are you a phsycologist? You seem to be really good at this stuff Cata. :)

Mr.Burns
19-01-07, 21:58
Wow, are you a phsycologist? You seem to be really good at this stuff Cata. :)

It has alot to do with being highly observant and having a tendency to think in a rational manner. Which Cat does quite often as I have noticed.

Catapharact
19-01-07, 21:58
No. I am a common-senseologist ;).

It has alot to do with being highly observant and having a tendency to think in a rational manner. Which Cat does quite often as I have noticed.

Burns hits the nail on the head.

~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 21:59
Thanks. They may believe both of us but it wont stop her having a go. I forgot to explain why we fell out. I have this secret, I told 3 of my most trustworthy people and then somebody else somehow found out. I told this girl about how one of them in untrustworthy and she says "Well why haven't you told me?!" in a really stroppy way so I said I couldnt trust her anymore (I've told her a lot of secrets and she's gone off blabbing) so the argument went from there until she said "Well shall I spread what you do at home around the school?" and I still dont know what she means about that. She later moved to sit with somebody else and for the rest of the lesson they were shouting abuse at me and I couldnt help a little crying.

rewak
19-01-07, 21:59
I know the feeling. I was bullied for...well a long time anyway. I did keep telling people and the bullies were delt with, but it didnt stop them. All i can say is try not to let them get to you. They're only doing it cause they're (pardon my language) ****ed up themselves. The bullying eventually stopped for me, and now the bullies are drug addicts, so in the end they destroy themselves. Just try and ignore it, tell your parents/teacher/etc of course, and find new friends, and dont give this "friend" of yours another chance if she tries to apologise.

Catapharact
19-01-07, 22:04
Abuse always starts from the mind Chole. You need to strengthen yourself :). Think of it this way; They are weak enough to lay rumors and profanity on you because they can't say anything though reasonable ways. It makes them uncivilized and downright babarians only fit for the caves rather than houses.

So whose the lesser person; You or them? With their behavior, its them. Don't let their little tauntings effect your own position. You are who you are and their weak little swaer words can't change that.

danitiwa
19-01-07, 22:04
Thanks. They may believe both of us but it wont stop her having a go. I forgot to explain why we fell out. I have this secret, I told 3 of my most trustworthy people and then somebody else somehow found out. I told this girl about how one of them in untrustworthy and she says "Well why haven't you told me?!" in a really stroppy way so I said I couldnt trust her anymore (I've told her a lot of secrets and she's gone off blabbing) so the argument went from there until she said "Well shall I spread what you do at home around the school?" and I still dont know what she means about that. She later moved to sit with somebody else and for the rest of the lesson they were shouting abuse at me and I couldnt help a little crying.


God, I hate *****es like that, so used to having their own way. Idiotic, if you ask me. Never tell a secret, they'll always get out some way, even if the person you told doesnt spill it. Plus you'll avoid people getting angry for such stupid reasons, I know, I've had tons of situations like this.

Mr.Burns
19-01-07, 22:04
No. I am a common-senseologist ;).



Burns hits the nail on the head.

Takes one to know one.:) I like that, Common-senseologist, I'll have to remember that one.

~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 22:23
But its all I've been thinking about since school, as soon as i got back I seriously considered suicide but I wouldnt do it to my mum.

Btw you say you've had loads of situations like this, what happened? and what did you do to make it better?

Mr.Burns
19-01-07, 22:28
But its all I've been thinking about since school, as soon as i got back I seriously considered suicide but I wouldnt do it to my mum.

Btw you say you've had loads of situations like this, what happened? and what did you do to make it better?

A: I think it's safe to say that it's happened to most if not all of us at one point in our lives.

B: Suicide is the last thing you should be thinking about. It's pointless and you have much to offer in life. Just as I have suggested to Dani, you should either bring this up to your parents or a school therapist. This is a very fixable problem but you need to gain the strength and resolve to make the change. Speak with your parents about this first.

jjbennett
19-01-07, 22:29
But its all I've been thinking about since school, as soon as i got back I seriously considered suicide but I wouldnt do it to my mum.

Btw you say you've had loads of situations like this, what happened? and what did you do to make it better?

If you have the balls to kill yourself you have the balls to live, tell someone, even if its your parents and then they deal with it, i got bullied in primary school and told my parents as the school didn't believe me (or the broken arm) and my mum confronted the idiots mother at the school gate. He never did it again.

J.

~*~Chloe~*~
19-01-07, 22:37
Thanks for all your support guys! I'm quite alone in my lessons at the moment but ill give it my best. xxx

jjbennett
19-01-07, 22:43
Just don't let them win ;)

Bullies are a lower life form, therefore if natural selection is correct then sometime in the future they will be gone.

J.

Lara Croft!
19-01-07, 23:23
Tell your parents or big sister/brother...Anyone close to you that you think that will listen to you and can help you...

We don't have this phenomenon in Greek schools,so I don't know what else to tell u...

lita212
20-01-07, 00:36
This might seem like a stupid question but my friend turned on me, tries to turn people on me and threatens to spread stuff around the school, does anybody know how I can respond? Or anything so that it wont hurt so badly.

Chloe xoxoxo

hmmm if shes turned on you for a reason then you should find out. just ignore her if shes turned on ya for no reason and dont even waste ya time worrying bout her cause you can always do one better and thats be the bigger person by telling someone or just walking away.

Miss Golden
20-01-07, 02:12
Punch her in the face and beat the living **** out of her. If she still keeps spreading rumours, jump on your desk and give her a Litacarrana, followed by a DDT, Widow's Peak, Stratusfaction and finally a Mick Kick. Then grab her by the hair, throw her through a glass window and slam her face in a toilet bowl. Flush it a few times in an attempt to drown her, slam her face into a mirror then throw her through a table. I hope that helps solve your problems.

If she is still spreading crap about you after that, go to the canteen and lock her in the oven turned up to maximum heat. Paramedics should arrive in 20 minutes.

mau3genius
20-01-07, 02:35
Don't go with your parents. Solve it yourself, you're old enough.
You have to kill her.
If you want to, hit her with a chair till she faints and then you should cut her in pieces.
If not, you could always try to turn her on fire. :)

Mr.Burns
20-01-07, 04:40
Punch her in the face and beat the living **** out of her. If she still keeps spreading rumours, jump on your desk and give her a Litacarrana, followed by a DDT, Widow's Peak, Stratusfaction and finally a Mick Kick. Then grab her by the hair, throw her through a glass window and slam her face in a toilet bowl. Flush it a few times in an attempt to drown her, slam her face into a mirror then throw her through a table. I hope that helps solve your problems.

If she is still spreading crap about you after that, go to the canteen and lock her in the oven turned up to maximum heat. Paramedics should arrive in 20 minutes.

Wow, that's really a constructive way to solve a problem. Let's use excessive violence to solve our problems. This person needs proper advice that will help solve the situation peacefully, not a method that will end up getting her into serious trouble.

Little-Lara
20-01-07, 06:41
What has u'r other friends done about it so far? Call them up, and tell them to help u next time u'r in school.

Also, try making new friends that are bigger in size than the bully. U'll feel comfortable hanging with bigger friends.

When the bully is yelling at u, pretend like u dont hear her/him. Then if they get more aggressive, U HAVE TO tell the principal, and several teachers.

Keep us updated about u'r problems, okay? cuz this is a huge problem, and we wanna stay updated, and wanna know that u'r okay, (happy ending.) :hug:

star girl
20-01-07, 06:45
Chloe, the first thing is to be strong... You said you couldn't help but cry a little; the girls took advantage of this, thinking: "Oh she's so weak she start's crying, maybe we can do it again and again cuz we're so ****in' bored with our pathetic lives that we don't have nothin' else to do!!!!"

Trust your parents with this, they'll surely help you out. But if I were in your position, I'd say "Go, on! Do it, I'd love to see you try." Like people said before me, bullies themselves are afraid. But I think you should ask your parents to help you out, if they're not willing, then beg them to do so. Confide in your mom, tell her you even considered suicide for this, and believe me moms understand! She'll maybe go talk to the teacher, or that girl's parents, with the school authorities you have to make some noise so that they lsiten to you and your mom.

And please remember the moral of the story: "Never tell your secrets to anyone!" You are your own best friend, you don't need anyone to be someone, this thing will help you later on too. Suicide is for cowards, read me, suicide is for those who are too weak and miserable to face life. And killing yourself for some idiotic *****es is plain useless.... Be strong, and confide in your parents. Things'll work out themselves. :)

laracroft2122
20-01-07, 08:08
I was best friends with someone for 7 years. Until suddenly an idiot came along and started bullying us. Then he was then friendly to my friend and my friend forgot about me. So I now have NO friends.

I have watched through the rest of school, whenever I get a friend or go some place new here is always there, wanting to be friends with that person or just go there. I have also watched that when someone new makes friends with him there soon forgot about because, oh there's a better friend.

I sit on my own in the school cafeteria, but I'm starting to like it, I don't talk to anyone anyway, and I get bullied most of the time.

Sorry for the life story senario

Little-Lara
21-01-07, 06:59
And please remember the moral of the story: "Never tell your secrets to anyone!" You are your own best friend, you don't need anyone to be someone, this thing will help you later on too.

I agree with u soo much. And to add to that, rememeber the life lessons, and remember to help ppl who might need it later on. :hug:

lorien elf
21-01-07, 07:38
Thanks. They may believe both of us but it wont stop her having a go. I forgot to explain why we fell out. I have this secret, I told 3 of my most trustworthy people and then somebody else somehow found out. I told this girl about how one of them in untrustworthy and she says "Well why haven't you told me?!" in a really stroppy way so I said I couldnt trust her anymore (I've told her a lot of secrets and she's gone off blabbing) so the argument went from there until she said "Well shall I spread what you do at home around the school?" and I still dont know what she means about that. She later moved to sit with somebody else and for the rest of the lesson they were shouting abuse at me and I couldnt help a little crying.

She's being immature, obviously, and you probably could spend hours trying to get it into her thick skull just how she demonstrated that she's being an idiot. She got mad at you for not confiding in her (being mean to you to perhaps cover up the slight hurt that she might have felt at being excluded, even if she might not have wanted to because she's close to you but just because she was left out, you know?) when you had done so with the others, and then she threatened to tell more people personal things about you in order to hurt you more, thereby showing just why she can't be trusted. She only made that worse for herself. Don't blame yourself in this, you probably tried to be nice to her as much as you could, and didn't start the fight in the first place. Your friends might take her side because she's the bully, as people seem to go with the apparent winner, rather than drag themselves into the fight by making themselves a target too. Try talking to them, to see if they can help you resolve this somehow, by talking to her and getting her to tell if something else is bothering her. Or at least they can drive some sense into her. Or, maybe there'll soon come a time when she won't argue with you but will talk to you sensibly about this. If not, then I say get an adult to talk to her. That should scare her a bit, even if she doesn't show it. It might make the problems worse, but at least that method was tested, in having some talk with her. I thought the other suggestions were good, even about having your mom talk to her parents.

And, as was said before, like a bully, she is pathetic, but won't see it that way and to cover up just how pathetic and low she is, she'll be loud, and get other bullies around her to join in on attacking you, to boost her confidence and sense of justification, perhaps. Bullies in a group encourage, fuel, feed each other, just as they feed off of a positive response (their teasing works for them, by hurting you) from their victims. Ignoring them might not help. If you have a moment of strength, quiet, just say something smart back at them, they likely won't start a fight with you in front of teachers, or other adults. She should be contained somehow though. Because like all weak bullies, this one plans to use others of your age to help her torment you. Spreading rumors and using peer-inflicted humiliation against a victim is one of the weakest, most pathetic and low things that a bully can do. Without cohorts and an audience, she is nothing. On her own she will crumble. Don't let them win by allowing them to see you cry, or even that you're upset. They're using you for that kind of high, to make themselves look cool, tough, and all that, by attacking you with their friends there to back them up. They are cowards.

But its all I've been thinking about since school, as soon as i got back I seriously considered suicide but I wouldnt do it to my mum.

I'm glad that you didn't do it. And hopefully, you come to a place along the road of your life where you're past all this and you will be thankful, really glad, that you didn't do it either. It's better to use that method for something extreme, and to stand as tough/strong as you can through the slightest of trials, rather than waste your life on such losers as they are. They are the real losers, and to make up for that, to hide it, they'll have to try all that much harder to call you a loser and make you look like one. They're wrong, not you. Don't ever give into them. It's good you were strong and resisted that temptation. Talk to your mom whenever it comes up again. It's so good to have a parent who really cares about you.

I agree with u soo much. And to add to that, rememeber the life lessons, and remember to help ppl who might need it later on. :hug:

^About the secrets. Probably when you're in school, even unto university, it's less likely that you'll find the real friends that you can actually trust. Many are given to petty jealousy and fickle temperaments, in that they can turn on you easily, for the slightest provocation. And they interpret the slightest wrong as justification for the worst kind of vengence (like spreading rumors and then revelling in your pain and suffering) and probably will learn much later how wrong they were for doing what they did, but it's too late then, can't take back what they've done.