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Old 19-03-10, 18:39   #1
msalpha2omega
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Default Midnight worries - a Fanfic

I recently wrote a fanfic for Catracoth's DMS (1 and 2), but it turned out to be an interesting story. Since I already have a vague idea of how this could go, Catracoth suggested starting a thread about it, and I thought it sounded like a good idea. So here it is!

So, basically everytime I write something new about this story I'll post it here in small pieces at a time, because I can't write extremely large pieces at once. If you find my story interesting, keep in touch with the thread! I can't promise you that this will be evolving quickly, though, since I have some other issues at the time being.

Enough with the introduction, here are the first two parts for those that haven't read them! Enjoy, and please let me know what you think. I'm always open for reviews and criticism. (No suggestions, though, please!)

Quote:
1.Footsteps And Questions.
The sound of her footsteps hitting the cold road was deafening in the midnight silence. The results to her actions was far from satisfying to her. She was not satisfied. How many times had she wished not to have pulled the trigger…she had lost count. How many times had she wished she were on a different place at that certain time…she had lost count. How many times she had wished those questions disappeared form her mind…she had lost count. It was much, much easier when he was still alive. And she was not satisfied.

As she was walking down the street, with her footsteps violently breaking the peaceful silence, she couldn’t stop asking herself: ”What if?”. The answers weren’t coming. If he were here, he could answer everything. She thought that by revenge she’d feel better, but now the questions were overwhelming and she kept in drowning in herself. She thought that by revenge she’d be satisfied, but she was wrong. She was not satisfied.

She walked in the bar and saw the young woman smiling at her. She smiled back and moved to her side. Her sister immediately realized something was wrong. “What happened? Why are you upset? Is that blood?” The woman looked at her sister, and felt for yet another time she was looking at a mirror.

She had known the existence of her twin sister for a month now, but she still couldn’t get used to looking at her face and having a conversation with herself.“I avenged father. I killed Norington”. Her sister couldn’t believe those words. She placed her hands on her mouth, shocked by that declaration. She slowly lowered her hands and sighed. “I can’t say I wasn’t expecting that, Nora”.
Quote:
2.Wind and Water.

ONE MONTH AGO


The wind was blowing loudly, offering an unusual music to those willing to hear. As it was wiping away leaves and flowers, the beautiful image could be an inspiration to any artist. The flowers and leaves were almost dancing to the tune of the wind blowing and attacking the tents of the stores and the windows of the houses. This unexpected cold melody in the middle of the spring created many reactions from the people. There were those that were annoyed by the sudden drop of temperature. There were those that were delighted by the midday concert. And there were those that didn’t care.

***

Nora was sitting in the bathroom floor looking once again at the results of her actions. The flooded bathtub was cold and hard as always, but there was something different… She kept thinking it was her own tears that flooded the room, and not some stupid broken pipe. The phone rang. She got up. She once again looked at the bathtub. She walked to the living room. She answered the phone.

“Nora? Are you okay? I just got your message.”
“Hey, dad. I’m okay now.” – That’s a lie.
“Do you need me to come over?”
“No, I called a plumber. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” – Another lie. What’s wrong with me?
“Are you sure? Honey, I won’t mind.”
“No, it’s okay.” – Why can’t I tell him the truth?
“Okay, if you say so. But remember – you can tell me anything”
“I know daddy. Good night.”

As Nora hang up, she wouldn’t stop thinking why she couldn’t talk to her father about what had happened that night. She was always telling everything to him, because he was the one who held all the answers. She had no secrets from him and she had never before lied to him. So… why now? What had changed? As the questions were increasing inside her mind, she found herself back in the bathroom. Having nothing better to do, she sat on the floor again, looking at the bathtub, at the one little thing that was making that cold hard bathtub different tonight.
The small crack at the upper left side.

***

At the same time, almost 10 km out of town, in a small village, a middle aged tall black man with white hair and green eyes was hanging up the phone. He looked at the young woman sitting opposite of him. She had the exact same face as the woman he was just talking to, except it wasn’t her.
“I’m so glad you could make it here tonight. I have something very important to tell you, Carla.”
“What’s wrong, Mr. Brown? You sounded very worried on the phone.”
“You, Carla…” The man took a deep breath. “…Have a sister. A twin sister. Her name is Nora."

Any updates will be added on the OP in link form, because I don't want the OP to be huge. Also from now on, the entries have names and numbers.
3.Mirrors and Truth.

Last edited by msalpha2omega; 20-03-10 at 19:17.
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Old 19-03-10, 18:41   #2
lara c. fan
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Near the bottom, you would want "km" not "kms"

Well, that's the British way, at any rate

Great story!
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Old 19-03-10, 20:30   #3
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Thanks for noticing that, I obviously haven't!!!

And awwww thank you honey!!
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Old 19-03-10, 21:04   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lara c. fan View Post
Near the bottom, you would want "km" not "kms"

Well, that's the British way, at any rate

Great story!
Actually, for fiction such as this, I would suggest writing out the full word, ala: kilometres

I enjoyed reading this! So, looking forward to updates
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Old 19-03-10, 21:29   #5
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Absolutely and undeniably excellent, msalpha2omega. I love your writing style as much as the story. You're definitely a talented writer - I would be insulted if you didn't grace us with your skill more often .
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Old 19-03-10, 21:34   #6
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Thank you so much, both of you!

On the next part:

Quote:
Nora:"What the hell are you?"
Carla:"I am you, with the flaws removed!"
Kidding, lol! Or am I?

Last edited by msalpha2omega; 19-03-10 at 21:35.
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Old 20-03-10, 15:04   #7
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Excuse me for double posting, but:

Quote:
3.Mirrors and Truth.
Mirrors: objects with at least one reflective surface. Reflections of the world. Divided into artificial and natural. The artificial part is the easy part: Made by humans. But the natural part is a whole new motive to think and wonder. Is what you see the truth? Natural mirrors, such as the water surface, or twins. Is the image you’re looking at really you? Or is it a whole new personality?

***

“Who are you?”
“My name is Carla. And as I found out today, I am your sister”
“Is this for real?”
“I’m afraid it is.”
“How..? Wh-where have you been all these years? How did you find out about me?”
“Your father told me.”
“Don’t you mean our father?”
“No.”

What was that mysterious smirk on her face? It could not be possible. Nora refused to believe. No, the man that raised her had to be her father. No, she would not accept this ugly statement. This was all a bad joke. A big fat lie. Or even better, a dream. Yes. It was a dream and she was about to wake up any minute now and find herself lying on her bed. She blinked. She blinked again. She pinched herself so fiercely, a drop of blood came out. No. No no no no.

Those feelings were making her suffocate and the upcoming tears were chocking her. She was feeling ill and dizzy. She just couldn’t digest those words coming out from a pair of lips identical to hers. She lost her balance and tripped on the hall rug. She saw the corner of the table coming right at her. She saw a sudden light. She saw darkness.

***

Mirrors are commonly used for personal grooming, decoration, and architecture. But sometimes one can also use them to see the real world. Such a weird, complicated and painful place that few are the ones that have managed to bear with. Mirrors can sometimes be the doorway to the truth. But is that what we really want?
Enjoy!

Last edited by msalpha2omega; 21-03-10 at 12:14.
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Old 20-03-10, 19:35   #8
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I like the latest part a lot! The idea of mirrors is great!

The only thing I didn't really like was this line of dialogue:

Quote:
“How..? Wh-where have you been all these years? I thought I was all alone in this world. I always felt there was a piece of me missing somewhere.”
It sounds really clichéd.
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Old 21-03-10, 12:13   #9
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^Yeah I thought it might sound cliche too... Thanks, I'll change it a bit!
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