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Old 04-11-05, 18:58   #1
Scottlee
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It is always nice to see daylight. But it is less often nice to see Pedro, who when helping you is not actually helping at all, and when trying to hurt you does a bloody good job of it. It transpires he too has escaped the perilous chambers beneath the ground. Nobody knows how he did this. But then again no-one knows why he got scared when he was down there, either. Check out his face when Lara points a gun at it. Priceless! He is still showing his nervous disposition even now! Luckily for him, seven vicious Arabian types turn up in the moments that follow Lara's "I wouldn’t advise it!". Get your guns out. It's show-time.

The start-of-level battle is a shock to the system because we have not previously fought humans in the game. And now here are seven at once all brandishing machine guns! Of course, all this commotion is far too much for Pedro. He's off. He commandeers a jeep and gets the hell out of dodge. Lara meanwhile must kill the arabs, get the secrets (optional), and then give pursuit in the conveniently abandoned second jeep. (In TR, there are always just enough vehicles to go around, it seems)

I cannot understand anybody would enjoy driving this jeep. It is awkward, immobile, and difficult to get out of corners with. I do not have a good time playing with it at all. Driving over the Arabs eases the displeasure somewhat. But on the whole I have to say this does not even come close to classic vehicles of the past, such as the boat, the snowmobile, and the mine cart.

Lara is good at what she does but Pedro is Michael Schumacher in disguise. With one hand he drives the jeep and with the other he lobs grenades out through the back door with unerring accuracy. He even stops sometimes so Lara can catch up! Who could would have thought he was secretly so talented?



All jesting aside though it's a duff level, undoubtedly one of the worst in the game. It's short, boring, and leaves me with hardly anything to talk about. Seriously, what actually is there to this chase? Lara kills seven men and then follows a jeep through landscape that all looks the same. The End. Yawn. - 3/10.

Slightly better is the curiously titled Kv5, not to be confused with K9 the dog. However, aside from several new absurdities(It's been two levels now and Pedro's grenades still haven't run out), the fact cannot be escaped this jeep is hard to drive. It is just not mobile enough. The surrounding level area does not help - Too cramped and too linear. Only the kayak from TR3 scores lower.

Ironically, the segment where Lara does some work on foot is the best in the level. She must navigate some scaffolding, shoot some ninja's and flick a weird lever thing. I actually felt like a raider again when I was doing all of this. Can't say that for the rest of the level. Oh, and Pedro wasn't in this bit. That made it good as well.

There are a couple of other things to mention, one bad and one good. The bad comes in the form of some weird spiked-ball things that roll down towards you when you go through a tunnel. Now where the hell are they originating from? Nowhere is the answer. They just materialise. Dire. Much better is the gameplay potential of knocking bad guys off their wooden perches, proving that you can at least do one thing inside a jeep that amounts to fun. Anyway..

Pedro's reign of terror finally comes to an end when Lara turns Evil-Knieval for a few seconds and flys the jeep onto a moving raft. At exactly the same time, my own personal terror came to an end of having to endure these two levels. Even the FMV sucked because we know from driving it ourselves that jeep was not capable of making such a leap. Oh I'm such a misery guts today. 5/10.

Best Part - The Scaffolding section

Worst Part - Eating Pedro's dust. Was there ever a more humiliating moment for drive-time Lara?

Secrets - Pretty good, but to get them means having to stop the jeep. And I was just happy to drive to the finish ASAP.

This level is most like - That 2mph race on Pat Sharp's Fun House where they had to grab tokens from the side of the track.

Damon Hill's shortcoming - He didn't lob enough grenades.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
There is usually only one picture at the end, but adjudicator Pic-Nic couldn't pic a pic with anything close to assurance. Thus, both they shall be published.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(The Egyptian golf course was rubbish)


(The builders were randy)


[ 04. November 2005, 19:07: Message edited by: Scottlee ]
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Old 04-11-05, 19:33   #2
Anubis_AF
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LMAO

Especially this part:
Quote:
Slightly better is the curiously titled Kv5, not to be confused with K9 the dog. However, aside from several new absurdities(It's been two levels now and Pedro's grenades still haven't run out)
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Old 04-11-05, 20:58   #3
robson001
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GREAT as always, Scott! I only think you were a bit too hard on rating...these different levels (I mean the chase ones, or the train level) are the spice of the game, they add a cinematic feel to the story.
And that area is indeed called KV5 (King's Valley section 5), I read about it some time ago in National Geographic).

btw, the link you gave me started working- I'm gonna check it right now)
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Old 04-11-05, 21:07   #4
Laras Backpack
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scottlee:
This level is most like - That 2mph race on Pat Sharp's Fun House where they had to grab tokens from the side of the track.
LMAO! I remember fun house and you do have a point there. Fantastic!
Kudos for the 'randy builders' pic.
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Old 04-11-05, 22:49   #5
Tomb Raider Master
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Great writing Scott! Can't wait for 'Temple Of Karnak'!
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Old 05-11-05, 02:19   #6
Nicky
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Quote:
Oh I'm such a misery guts today. 5/10.
I'd give it a 10 just for the existence of the jeep

Quote:
Damon Hill's shortcoming - He didn't lob enough grenades.
LMFAO

Good you included both screenies in the end, Scott
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Old 05-11-05, 17:22   #7
Bokkie
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Hehe, really interesting one

Quote:
Lara is good at what she does but Pedro is Michael Schumacher in disguise.
Don't forget that Schumacher won the GP season 7 times

I think that Takuma Sato is better to be Pedro
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Old 14-11-05, 14:05   #8
Theodora
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lol yeah really cool writing but i liked those levels...
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Old 17-11-05, 05:42   #9
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i love how witty and sarcastic you are in writing these

i've been to the valley of the kings (the real one!) and it really does all look the same. i know you may critsize it as a level for looking entirely the same, but the valley of the kings really looks just like the level... so i'd give them points for the accuracy. however KV5 is completely off... what is Abu Simble doing in the Valley of the Kings? lol

[ 17. November 2005, 05:44: Message edited by: godoflight ]
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