Winston Smith: The Interview!

[tha_mattster]

Thanks for all your questions you posted! I think there were about 50 in all!

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So I set off, with 2 large serving trays banging about in my bag (presents from forum members!) It takes about 3 minutes to cycle up to the place, this time the door was open, so I just walked in.






Winston comes down the stairs, he moves slowly and steadily. Right now, he is carrying a large orange vase, it looks Japanese. He places it down on a table then comes and sits opposite me, beside the fireplace.



Hello Winston, the people of Tomb Raider forums would like you to asnwer their questions!

Winstonthebutler asks:

1. For How long have you been with the Crofts?

For forty years.

2. Who hired you initially?

I was first a soldier, then at twenty seven, I moved into my current position with the Crofts.

3. How would you Summarize Lara?

Energetic, mischievous, daring.

4. Who do you prefer? Alister or Zip?

(he lowers his voice to a whisper) Alister.

5. What's your full name?

Winston Smith.

VonCroy360 asks:

1. Where was better? In the military or at the crofts?

(A sudden burst of gunfire is heard, followed by a sharp smashing sound
I turn around towards the stairs to see the orange vase in pieces. A small robotic like creature scuttles away persued fiercly by lara, who is in white pyjamas and wielding two small pistols. She chases it past us and out
through the front door)

(winston turns to me, 'These bloody robots!')

It is most difficult to compare them. However, both require patience and discipline. (his eyes move to the shattered vase)

2. What do you actually do as a butler?

I monitor the rest of the staff and oversee the general upkeep of the estate. I spend considerable time dealing with museums, galleries and auction houses.

3. Do you ever get sick of being just a butler?

( a pause) No.

4. What do you think of Lara?

Perhaps this is not the time to answer that. (I think he is referring to the recent vase incident!)

5. What do you think of the boys (Zip, Alister)?

I find Alister to be a charming and knowledgable young man. (thats all he says)

Natla'd asks:

1. You used to be hunched and windy and at least 182, now you look younger and far more spritely...what is your secret?

I began practicing Pilates last year.

2. *SPOILER* Back in 1997, you were kidnapped by mafia members and held hostage in a bathroom in Las Vegas - does things like this happen often, or was it a one-off experience? *SPOILER*

At Croft Hall, one is frequently placed in unusual situations..

3. Is Alister gay?

Very much so, he just received a translation of a bolivian inscription. (I cough to conceal my grin, but do not press him further)

4. How come there are clothes on the floor ALL OVER Lara's bedroom, and you do nothing but stand by the fire looking smug? I mean, Lara's probably paying you a fair amount to be her butler; why don't you occasionally try buttling now and again?

It seems then, that she has messed it up again. Come, I must deal with this.

(We stand up, and I follow winston up the staircase, we pass several display cabinets and then go through into a corridor. Again lots of display cabinets, but now many portraits also. I look through a large window, out into the manor and spot a bruised and shabby lara walking out of a hedge maze, she is carrying that small robot I saw earlier. I dont think its moving anymore!
I remember I have questions at this point.)

RedTyga asks:

1.What do you think of Alfred? Jeeves?(Alfred is Batman's butler in case you didn't know, and Jeeves as in askjeeves.com)

Sorry, I am not familiar with these characters.

2.What are the perks of being a butler? Of being Lara's butler?

There are no 'perks'. A am a butler in the tradional sense, not a PA. (I dont think he likes the word 'perks' )

(we turn and continue down a corridor)



Hunter asks:

1. Has Lara ever shot you , during her training?

I have been shot at, but never shot. Of that I am glad.

2. how much are you being payed?

I do not receive a salary... I would rather not discuss the financial affairs of Croft Hall.

3. do you know how to cook?

I do indeed know how to cook. Since 'Zip' moved in, I am no longer required to cook for Lara. He ought to cook more...(he stops short)

4. Do you holiday?

Once, or twice a month I visit friends in St Albans.

(We stand outside Lara's bedroom door, I'm sure its her room, because it smells of perfume)

(Winston knocks three times, the door is opened from the inside and Alister(!) pops his head around, his head in a book, 'Lunch will be served in one hour', Winston announces, before closing the door himself, almost bashing Alister! It seemed deliberate!)

(We walk further, and stop at another door)

(I can hear shouting coming from inside, He draws a number of keys from his pocket, and uses a small golden one to open the door)

'Do please wait here' he says.

(doh!)

(I catch a glimpse of a heap of clothes and towels littered about the room, and a TV playing an Indiana Jones film, before Winston closes the door behind him)

(two minutes later he emerges and we walk back to the fireplace)


5. where's your tea tray?

I do not have a personal serving tray. If you would like to see one we can go to the kitchens. (I shake my head)

Lara lookalike asks:

1.how long have you known lara?

For as long as she has been alive.

2.do u see lara as a grandaughter?

No. We are not related, but of course I am fond of her.

3.do u live in the mansion?

Yes. Tradionally servants live at the bottom of the house near the kitchens, but I have a small room near the gym complex.

4. Lara lookalike wanted me to give you this (I hand him a metal serving tray)

I wondered why you were clanging all this time.

hazel asks:

1. Hello Winston. Has Lara ever explained what happened during her time in Egypt after she went missing to you?

Oh, hello Ms Hazel. I'm not sure she would want me to discuss it with others.

2. Were you ever introduced to one of her friends named Kurtis Trent, if so what did you think of him?

I have never met this man.

3. Do you ever getting annoyed by Lara’s lack of femininity?

I do not understand this question.

4. I brought you a present. A new golden shiny tea tray, which is limited edition. I also got the words, "This tray belongs to Winston the butler" emboosed in silver lettering ont the underside of the tray. OH and it's bullet proof!

Well this explains why you continued to clang! Give Ms Hazel my thanks.

paul123456 asks:

1. how did your wife die and when did she die?

(I think it is a bit rude to ask how she died so I just ask the second part)

My wife vanished thirty five years ago. Nobody knows what happened to her (He looks upset)

2. do you fancy lara?

What do you mean? (I decide not to rephrase the question!)

3. do you like fridges?

No I do not. Lara once played a cruel trick on me, but I'd rather not discuss it now...

4. have you ever had a affair with lady croft?

That is preposterous!

(We arrive back at the fireplace, he looks angry now)

Jarhead asks:

1. do you have a grandaughter ?

Yes, she lives in Australia, she is a student at Sydney University.

2. and do you prefer baths or showers?

We had a shower installed fifteen years ago, at Lara's request. The only shower is in her room.

Ampersand asks:

1. Since when did you start taking tablets for your flatulence?

(I ask, 'Do you take any medication?' )

Yes. (he says nothing else on the matter)

Eleana asks:

1. Whats the longest time you've been stuck in Lara's freezer?

Did she tell you!? Well I had no wish to discuss that, but you seem adamant.
Many years ago, I was preparing dinner for Lara and I stepped into the meet freezer. I heard her come through the front door,she had been out with Amanda. Amanda is a dreadful girl, but thats not for me to say...but she is. Well clearly Amanda had encouraged Lara to play a practical joke on me, and she locked the freezer door while I was inside. I was there for 2 hours. Fortunately the temperature controls were on my side of the door so I did not die. That was the last time Amanda came to see Lara.

CoffeeBean asks:

1. Winston, you're a hottie! Are you single?

I am a what? (I repeat 'hottie!' ) He looks puzzled, and says he is single.


Paperdoll asks:

1. Who's your wife? Or husband

My wife was Mrs Jane Smith.

2. What's the name of your flatulent medical condition?

(I omit 'flatulent')

Please ask another question...

3. Did Lara ever had an asma attack due to your....errm... little problem?

Lara does not suffer from asthma.

laracroft2122 asks:

1. Do you hate Lara for sticking you in the freezer?

I forgive Lara.

2. Has Zip got a webcam on Lara's room?

I have no idea what that is.

3. Do you know Cafe Metro

Yes, many french style cafes have that name. I remember Lara mentioned one she visited in Paris.

4. Can I have your tea tray?

Is there something about them that fascinates you? (I nod my head)

No you may not. They are the property of the estate.

5. I hear you sneak into your room at night then put womens clothes, and then go to the night clubs. Is this true?

Do not be absurd.

Lucy croft asks:

1. How did you grow taller in 9 years? Were you stretched on a stretching machine?

Once again, I have little idea of what you might mean. Certainly I have never been stretched by any machine.

2. Does Lara take any medication?

Frequently. Her travel packs contain many antidotes and creams to ward off infection.

3. Don't you get a bit hot standing by the fire all the time?

Indeed I do, but as a soldier I was stationed in North Africa for 3 years.

4. What's your favourite meal?

I like traditional English food.

5. If you were in the army, where are all your medals?

I keep all my medals under lock and key. Would you like me to talk about the war?

(I shrug, aiming for a polite no!)

(he clearly does not get the message and he begins to recall his war time memories...)

(...I wake up, I don't know how long I was asleep, Winston has gone and the place is strangely quiet. I see myself out.

Well that is how my second (imaginary!) visit to Croft Hall went. I intend to interview/interrogate Zip next time.

[Hazel]

LOL Great! That was awesome! Can't wait of for the Zip interviews, that'll be interesting.
Are you planning on interviewing any charcters from AOD?

[Eleana]

1. You used to be hunched and windy and at least 182, now you look younger and far more spritely...what is your secret?

I began practicing Pilates last year.

Brilliant!

[tha_mattster]

Possibly, but I will have to complete the game first!

(Right now im climbing about in Le serpant rouge)

Im interviewing Zip next then Lara.


## @ Eleana, that was not intended as a joke! but I suppose the image of him waving his legs about is quite funny, something like a turtle/ penguin hybrid stuck on its back? ##

[Laras Backpack]

LOL!
You should ask tlr to post these on the chronicles website!

[VonCroy360]

OMG, this is great!
He practises pilates...
I can't decide do I like this one or the one with Alister better...
Can't wait for you to interview Zip...

[tha_mattster]

Zip will be fun because he isnt so constrained by politeness like the other two are. There wont be any alister-like blushing with him!

I think the Winston interview is better because I laid it out nicer, and got a little tour of the house. I was planning on bringing a poloroid camera and make mock photos. Never got round to that though! I wanted to have angelina jolie in white pyjamas, then cut and paste that onto a screenshot of the maze from an old Tr game, but I dont have the game for PC

I am planning on doing a little snooping next time and seeing what I can find. i.e love notes/ diaries And of course it would be rude of me not to scan them!!!

[Lucy_Croft]

Grrrrrreat!! Very funny indeed

[lara_lookalike]

this is sooo funny! keep it up!!

[TombRaiderLover]

These interviews are excellent! Keep up the good work!

BTW, are you interviewing Lara any time soon? If not, I could. *smiles devilishly*