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Janny
29-01-07, 13:52
How to bathe a cat :D

1.Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield.

2. Know that a cat has claws- and they are very very sharp (Ah, bless these critters)

3. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket

3. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. Cats will not usually notice your strange attire

4. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

5. Cats have no handles. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him a squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)

6. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. But it is simple- that's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.

You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.


In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. But at least now he smells a lot better.


Oh and just for the record don't try this at home and don't take it seriously-it's made just to be comical :)

danitiwa
29-01-07, 13:55
Good instructions for cat owners, I tried to put my old cat in a bathtub once, he climber to the top of my BEAR head and it was scratched like hell, so I just threw him back on the floor. :vlol: Ahh, I miss Zlatko.

star girl
29-01-07, 14:24
lol, that's a good one. I'll keep it in mind when I buy a cat.... :D

Laras Backpack
29-01-07, 14:46
LMAO! :vlol: :vlol:
Oh this takes me back to watching my mum bathe our cat! It really is almost that bad.
It's the same when she tries to put flea powder on him. She used to shut him in a room and chase him about with it. The look on his face the moment the door closes is so funny. :D But nowadays we just put a little powder on his cat brush and gently brush him.

Andromeda66
29-01-07, 15:19
Ohhaha yeah the memories of trying to bathe mine!! :vlol:

Long time no see Janny :wve:

Lara's Boy
29-01-07, 15:24
lmao....though I miss my cat, I certainly don't miss trying to get him clean!


Nice little instructions there :D

Lara Croft!
29-01-07, 15:42
LOL!!!!!If I had a cat,I'd follow the instructions!!!

Greenkey2
29-01-07, 16:56
:D That's absolutely true for eight out of my nine cats - number nine actually quite likes having a bath :whi:

deepbluesea
29-01-07, 17:21
:D That's absolutely true for eight out of my nine cats - number nine actually quite likes having a bath :whi:

ahh dear little jasper in his little coat!

Bullethail
30-01-07, 18:16
Link removed.

Tomb-Raider
30-01-07, 18:27
Wah! That video was so sad. The poor little cat suffering like it was going to die. :( . We need to shut that buisness down !

Greenkey2
30-01-07, 18:28
:yik: :yik: THAT WAS TERRIBLE THE POOR THING!!!!!!



:( Greenkey not happy :(

deepbluesea
30-01-07, 18:30
That was terrible hang your head in shame

Laras Backpack
30-01-07, 18:39
On paper a pet-spa for a cat may look like a good idea- but in practice...not so much. O.o

danitiwa
30-01-07, 19:19
[Link]

CATS CLEAN THEMSELVES! WHy torture it like that?!! THis is sorta like animal testing! SICK :cen: ! The should go :cen: :cen: :cen: :cen: themselves. Whoever thought of this was a :cen: :cen: :cen: ! Greenkey, me not happy either!!!! Poor kitty. :(

Mad Tony
30-01-07, 19:24
CATS CLEAN THEMSELVES! WHy torture it like that?!! THis is sorta like animal testing! SICK :cen: ! The should go :cen: :cen: :cen: :cen: themselves. Whoever thought of this was a :cen: :cen: :cen: ! Greenkey, me not happy either!!!! Poor kitty. :(
Woah!
Calm down.
I think you need to chill a little bit.

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 19:32
Woah!
Calm down.
I think you need to chill a little bit.

Yea agreed, and anyhow animal testing saves human lives.

danitiwa
30-01-07, 19:37
I know, but trying to drown a cat doesn't. :mad: Oh, god. Sick people!

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 19:41
I know, but trying to drown a cat doesn't. :mad: Oh, god. Sick people!

How long does a cat take to clean itself? hours, that machine worked in like 1 minute.

Laras Backpack
30-01-07, 19:42
How long does a cat take to clean itself? hours, that machine worked in like 1 minute.

And mentally scars the cat for life. :p

Greenkey2
30-01-07, 20:08
Let me make my point very clear...

Cats are clean animals.

They make every effort to clean themselves and - for 99.99% of the time with shorthaired cats especially, this is all that is needed.

If you have to bathe your cat do so, but make sure that if the cat doesn't like it either take them to the vets to be sedated and cleaned, or don't do it at all.

This machine is obviously causing serious distress to the animal, who cannot escape the situation. This represents cruelty. Cruelty with good intentions maybe, but it is still cruel and completely unnecessary.


What sick people :mad:

danitiwa
30-01-07, 20:12
Let me make my point very clear...

Cats are clean animals.

They make every effort to clean themselves and - for 99.99% of the time with shorthaired cats especially, this is all that is needed.

If you have to bathe your cat do so, but make sure that if the cat doesn't like it either take them to the vets to be sedated and cleaned, or don't do it at all.

This machine is obviously causing serious distress to the animal, who cannot escape the situation. This represents cruelty. Cruelty with good intentions maybe, but it is still cruel and completely unnecessary.


What sick people :mad:

Aye!/Ditto!

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 20:19
I would not classify this as cruelty, real cruelty for example is trying to boil a kitten alive (!) which i read in the newspaper a few months back, lol

danitiwa
30-01-07, 20:21
I would not classify this as cruelty, real cruelty for example is trying to boil a kitten alive (!) which i read in the newspaper a few months back, lol

Not very lol at all. :( I love cats!

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 20:38
Not very lol at all. :( I love cats!

They kill and torture mice, it's a chain, do they have feelings for the mice, no, i don't see why we should have feelings towards them.

deepbluesea
30-01-07, 20:39
i guess some people wouldn't mind being grabbed and shoved in a sealed room with no way out and the room filled with steam and water and you having no knowlege of whats going on and you hate water. But I guess that would be ok?

Greenkey2
30-01-07, 20:42
I beg to point out that cats are predators and the damage/death they inflict on mice is part of their nature.

Just because humans can impose cruelty doesn't mean we automatically have to - though in some cases this has obviously not sunk in.

Anglosaxon, if you do not think this is cruel take a look at how the cat reacts to the tank. It hates it and is scared out of its mind. Look in any dictionary if you're still puzzled.

Catherine
30-01-07, 20:46
Link removed.

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 20:46
i guess some people wouldn't mind being grabbed and shoved in a sealed room with no way out and the room filled with steam and water and you having no knowlege of whats going on and you hate water. But I guess that would be ok?

No knowledge of whats going on? Cats are dumb creatures so of course they have no idea, but humans would.

deepbluesea
30-01-07, 20:47
No knowledge of whats going on? Cats are dumb creatures so of course they have no idea, but humans would.

I was using an example but I won't go on and will carry my opinions with me instead.

Greenkey2
30-01-07, 20:48
Anglosaxon, I can tell you've absolutely NO experience of being around cats of any description.


Cats are very smart. They certainly have the brains to decide if they don't like the way they're being treated.

MiCkiZ88
30-01-07, 20:56
Cats are very smart. They certainly have the brains to decide if they don't like the way they're being treated.

ditto.

I only bathed my kitten today because he was dirty & he didn't have anything against it. He enjoyed the bath.

But that last video.. That is just pure cruelty :(

Greenkey2
30-01-07, 20:58
I've removed the video link. There is simply no excuse for anyone to treat an animal in such a way as to cause it this much distress.

I know it was disturbing many members here, myself among them.

deepbluesea
30-01-07, 21:03
I've removed the video link. There is simply no excuse for anyone to treat an animal in such a way as to cause it this much distress.

I know it was disturbing many members here, myself among them.

Thankyou

Ampersand
30-01-07, 21:04
I think one was missed (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showpost.php?p=1538681&postcount=28). :wve:

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 21:09
''Anglosaxon, I can tell you've absolutely NO experience of being around cats of any description.''

Because all they do is scratch. Also when i called cats dumb, i ment when comparing them to humans.

Greenkey2
30-01-07, 21:15
All they do is scratch?

What do you mean? Scratch themselves? Scratch the furniture? Scratch you?

If your general feelings towards cats shown so far in this thread are anything to go by then the latter option is probably a good indicator why they do it.

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 21:24
What do you mean? Scratch themselves? Scratch the furniture? Scratch you?

If your general feelings towards cats shown so far in this thread are anything to go by then the latter option is probably a good indicator why they do it.


If you can come up with 3 good uses for cats (apart from cooking them), I will change my opinion on them forever :)

Bullethail
30-01-07, 21:26
Thanks, Greenkey! I was actually just coming to remove it myself.


Anyways, I want to make it clear that I regret posting that. If I'd known it would cause such an uproar, I wouldn't have posted it. I more meant for everyone to see, and I know everyone's gonna hate me for this, the funny side to it. However, I'm not sure I see how it's completely cruel. It's not much different then a normal bath, just that they have a door to keep them in the bath.

Greenkey2
30-01-07, 21:30
I understand why you posted it Bullethail, but I am glad you understand the reason it was removed :)

If you can come up with 3 good uses for cats (apart from cooking them), I will change my opinion on them forever :)

Are you seriousely asking me to rate a living, sentient being purely on its usefulness? Isn't being a loving companion, who will never judge, discriminate against or walk out on you enough? You could make the same statement about almost any animal, particularly pets, and still lose the argument.

I don't rate any creature on its intelligence or usefulness. They don't need either to warrant our affection, shelter and protection. If everyone thought the same way as you then we wouldn't have the RSPCA, RSPB or any other animal charity.

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 21:38
I understand why you posted it Bullethail, but I am glad you understand the reason it was removed :)



Are you seriousely asking me to rate a living, sentient being purely on its usefulness? Isn't being a loving companion, who will never judge, discriminate against or walk out on you enough? You could make the same statement about almost any animal, particularly pets, and still lose the argument.

I don't rate any creature on its intelligence or usefulness. They don't need either to warrant our affection, shelter and protection. If everyone thought the same way as you then we wouldn't have the RSPCA, RSPB or any other animal charity.

Yes i am, cats really don't help us in this world, and while millions of pounds are being wasted for the rspca to buy cat and dog biscuits, thousands of people are dying of cancer in britian. It's stupid.

Atlantean-Squid
30-01-07, 21:43
Yes i am, cats really don't help us in this world, and while millions of pounds are being wasted for the rspca to buy cat and dog biscuits, thousands of people are dying of cancer in britian. It's stupid.

These decisions were made by people far, far cleverer than you. I would not **** them off, especially given that you can't even spell the name of your own country. :)

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 21:58
These decisions were made by people far, far cleverer than you. I would not **** them off, especially given that you can't even spell the name of your own country. :)

My country is England, how is that not spelt right.

Atlantean-Squid
30-01-07, 22:05
Yes i am, cats really don't help us in this world, and while millions of pounds are being wasted for the rspca to buy cat and dog biscuits, thousands of people are dying of cancer in britian. It's stupid.

^

You aren't in the best position to call people stupid, eh?

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 22:07
your referring to britain, sorry i didnt notice the mistake there, but anyway i hate Britain,i want independence, im glad i misspelled it,

Atlantean-Squid
30-01-07, 22:19
your referring to britain, sorry i didnt notice the mistake there, but anyway i hate Britain,i want independence, im glad i misspelled it,

I don't think Britain is too keen on you either.

DREWY
30-01-07, 22:21
''Anglosaxon, I can tell you've absolutely NO experience of being around cats of any description.''

Because all they do is scratch. Also when i called cats dumb, i ment when comparing them to humans.


All animals have a place in the world’s structure, whether you are clever enough to see that or not. Cats main function was rodent control, now it’s as much companionship as that. How many older folk have no-one but a cat for company. You seem concerned about cancer? What about the diseases spread by rodents. Black plague or the Bubonic plague ring any bells? Could have had far worse if not for cats.
What you call cruelty earlier (catching mice) I call instinct. Dumb? Compared to what. Human brains are much more developed than cats so we can’t compare there. Lets compare apples with apples, so to speak.

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 22:23
everyone i'm so sorry about insulting cats, i just found this book lol

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 22:37
DREWY i can see your point about rodent control, but cats are just horrible, they bit the heads off some baby birds in a nest in my garden, they killed one of my mice ages ago as well, again decapitated.:mad:

MiCkiZ88
30-01-07, 22:39
I can see why you hate cats now.. but can you please take that image of? It offends a lot of people here.. including me.

jarhead
30-01-07, 22:41
I can see your point too AngloSaxon, but its only a cats nature.

And I've read that book, i found it quite funny, not in a sick way though. Like the book of bunny suicides

AngloSaxon
30-01-07, 22:53
I can see your point too AngloSaxon, but its only a cats nature.

And I've read that book, i found it quite funny, not in a sick way though. Like the book of bunny suicides

the book of bunny suicides lol

I remember something aout cats now, the serial killer ed gein made a sofa out of cat flesh/fur lol and it had a cats head on top of it, he made the same designs out of human flesh and even dogs too.

ilie_ fusarau
30-01-07, 23:22
Lol