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Old 20-07-19, 15:38   #1
Mani_Man's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Germany
Posts: 4,357
Default General Relationship Advice/Story thread

Hello and sorry for the thread title and if we already have one and so on.

But i really need help, not personally but because of one of my best friends.
Im myself not good at relationships, how my girlfriend doesnt constantly hit me with something is beyond me...we make it work and are happy.
How that happens with me, i dont know...maybe she is crazy(dont tell her)

Anyway, point is that i need help.
My best friend asked me for advice, something he doesnt do...mostly because he has really low self esteem and thinks bothering anybody with anything important to him is a waste of time(what a idiot...he is my best friend, nothing he thinks is important is unworthy of my time...he is the best)

And its advice in the worst possible way...Relationship advice.

Here is the story:
He was looking through facebook to see what our old classmates have been up to.
And as it happens, he found the girl he liked over the course of our whole school life...and still does as it seems.
He wants to write her, see where this leads etc.

But here is the catch, he lives at home and doesnt make the big money...which means he isnt what you would consider in societys terms "successfull"
He isnt in the age people normally live with their parents, where you dont have much income.
He always just lived through live from day to day without real drive or motivation.
Until he found something that he considers his passion, something that has a goal he wants to reach.
Around 6-7 years ago with the full support of his parents he quit his normal job to fully follow that.
He hasnt made it big yet, he made a bit of money of it, but not enough to move out and all that.
He wants to but its not something he can force, it needs to come while he walks steady forward, learns and becomes better.

As you can see he is somewhat of a social stigmata, stereotype with not having a "real" job and living with his parents.
But its not really like that, not like in the movies or tv shows.
They have a good relationship, they help each other where they can and all...its a bit like having roomates you know.

But still there is this strange feeling we mostly in the west have adapted that you MUST NOT live with your parents, that you need to move out japan or so its common to live and the take over the house of your parents...but i digress.

He is not some basement dweller or so, yeah he has a bit of problems talking to girls...but overall he is not one you would look at and consider someone who lives at home.

Anyway...he is really jittery about that, i have never seen him this nervous but at the same time excited and hopefull.
But me and my girlfriend dont know what advice to give him.
He is our friend and we want him to be happy, but like i said...society can be cruel and i dont want him to put himself out there, to push himself for the first time in such a direction...and then get crushed completely by it.

I really wanna help him and give him enough confidence, he looked so anxious and was ready to cry when he told me that there is this girl, he was stumbling through his words and all just because he looks for advice...he is such a kind and sweet guy...he deserves to be as happy as it is possible and i would do everything to make it happen.

So being completely unsure what to do i ask you guys and girls, should we tell him to not give a damn and just go for it(or something like that) and how important is "success" to you?
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