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Old 20-07-19, 23:09   #5
Yeauxleaux
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I'm wondering, before he starts looking for a relationship, if there's anything else he could possibly do to make money on the side, while he builds up the career he wants to do?

I'm seeing a lot of stuff online (stuff I'm prepared to give a try myself) about building a passive income to make money. Some of it seems pretty viable and that could help him move quicker towards moving out and getting his own place.

I did move out before when I went to university, but I now live back at home with my Mom and brother (who is younger than me). I have my reasons for it, partly because my Dad died a few years ago and I just haven't dealt with it as well as I maybe should have. However if I am being 100% realistic (not fake-optimistic, not living in Faerie Land where there's constant flowers and rainbows) I know I'm not ready for a relationship and it's partly because I'm still living at home.

I just don't have the space for one and I want my own place before getting into anything serious with someone. That's the first reason, I can't imagine getting to that date 5-y kind of place, you know where it's time to bring them round to your place for a meal (and a bit more than a meal afterwards), with my Mom and brother in the next room to hear it. I just don't want that.

I'm also someone who, to a fault I'll be honest, has certain standards when it comes to dating. I have (not unrealistic, but still) ideas about what I would want in a life partner. However, I feel like if I want to date someone who is really "quality" by my standards, then I need to get my **** together and be that myself before I start pursuing that. I was briefly messaging a guy a while ago who was a similar age to me, really handsome and he was a lawyer, successful already in his 20s, and he also seemed to have similar interests to me as well (running and travel in particular). The conversation kind of dropped off amicably, but I still have him in my phone contacts. I could message him... but cmon... let's take the emotions out of it, that's not going anywhere once he finds out I'm not where I should be yet, so it's futile.

As horrible as it is, you do have to look at things realistically. We can go into how it's ****ed up and unfair that adults living at home are stigmatised, but the fact of the matter is we are however we feel about it.

Now I'm not saying by any means that we should just languish and accept our lot in life. I just think, if you're thinking about a relationship while still living at home, you're doing it backwards. I do think you should first think about moving out, by any necessary means, before you get onto that. So no, I would not encourage your friend to reach out to this girl, who (again, let's be real) likely won't be impressed at his situation. I'd start by encouraging/helping him to find other means of making an income, and going from there. If he really is nervous socially as well, there's help he can also get for that

I'm sorry if this isn't the popular opinion but it's how I feel and I'm not going to paint rainbows.

Last edited by Yeauxleaux; 20-07-19 at 23:20.
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