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Old 19-01-20, 03:06   #1
Tombcool
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Default Are mental disorders such as Borderline Personality real?

I have been diagnosed by several doctors over the past 10 years with Borderline Personality and Bipolar Depression but the outside world seems to think these disorders are not real and just "attention seeking".

However, after several run-ins with the law, the destruction I have caused within my family, abuse history, multiple job losses, not completing an education, uncontrollable mood swings, horrible thoughts, assumptions, and flashbacks I am literally a textbook case of Borderline Personality after reading it again in the DSM. Like there is no way medical doctors, psychologists, and psychiatrists are wrong if they have seen my pattern of behavior over 10 years?

I have been refusing treatment for a long time, but starting on that path now because even the outside world keeps telling me otherwise, every single year my behavior just repeats itself.

Is there anyone on here that can relate or shed some light that there is hope?

I am looking at the person I used to be and miss them. Funny, smart, talented. It's all gone.
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Old 19-01-20, 03:55   #2
maati139
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It's all real and it's all important to care about mental health as you care about your body in physical aspect. Trust medicine, doctors and scientific facts not some people which are wrong.

In my case I was diagnosted with several problems related to neuroses. I've had 2 years of medical treatment and cognitive behavioral therapy.

It was a time to start to deal with some real problems in my life which in the past I used to keep out of my mind. But I really coludn't to do it, so my body starts to get sick. The disease started to restrict my life, both professionally and in private life. I didn't want for me history like this, you live once and it's worth to be your best version of yourself.

It's a hard work but you can make it, doctors will help you, be patience and focused on your health
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Old 19-01-20, 04:00   #3
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They're real and they affect every asset of your life. Yes, it's very unlikely that your doctors are wrong if multiple doctors have diagnosed you with the exact same disorders.

I'm not someone trying to talk down to you; I'm going to be real about this on TRF for once (And probably regret it. Knowing this site, it's probably going to be used against me in the future...) and admit that I have Borderline Personality Disorder myself. You're not the first person ever who resists and refuses treatment. With BPD people, unless it was our idea in the first place we don't want to do it, period. Whether it concerns coping mechanisms or even hobbies. I've seen other borderlines scream and throw tantrums because their plans didn't go how they thought they should, and even refuse to use coping skills they promised they would use. If we change our behaviors for other people, if we admit that our emotions are an inappropriate level for a reaction, then we're also "admitting defeat" and that we're wrong. And we can't stand being wrong, just like we can't stand being told no.

The problem is that if you keep resisting and refusing, you're not winning. No one does. All you do is push people away from you and lose everything you had. You're not admitting defeat by learning how to cope with your disorders and manage your emotions, you're becoming more stable and easier for others to be around. The cold hard truth of the matter is that no one is equipped to deal with manic elation instead of happiness, or unbridled wrath instead of anger, or deepest despair instead of sadness.

The first step is realizing you have a problem. The second step is starting to learn how to manage it. The third step is accepting it. And the fourth step is coping, which will be a journey that lasts you the rest of your life.

I don't know what country you're from (I'm in the US), but if you're able, look for Dialectical Behavior Therapy, especially for group therapy. And a book that really helped me was "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & Distress Tolerance" by Matthew Kay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley.

Please take care of yourself. You don't have to suffer anymore.
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Old 19-01-20, 10:36   #4
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I'd ppl here be open about mental health than treat it otherworldly.
everyone goes through it cant deny, reason for my resistance to it starts from the stigma it has in 'society'. and of course old say, no one cares about ur mental health until ur dead or dying.

be open to speak about it.
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Old 19-01-20, 16:23   #5
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You can look back at all of the crazy **** you did, and in this present moment, you can wrap it up into a dramatic story that causes negative emotions; regret, embarrassment, guilt, shame, humiliation, worthlessness, hopelessness... and that might be the exact internal process that led to those very actions.

Are your past actions evidence of a mental disorder? Because... let's face it, most people do "crazy" things. People steal. People cheat on each other. People drop out of school all the time. People get drunk and drive their car. People have lovely conversations with friends and turn around and twist the entire story in their head. Many are not diagnosed, and I get the sense that we could come up with endless labels for human diversity.

For most of us, not much is happening within a small moment. If you feel like you're a big mess, perhaps detachment from your mind in the moment would help you build a new relationship with life. Like, make room for more quietness, stillness. Carry around a more neutral atmosphere with you. You will still be triggered and still have emotions though.

Maybe the reason it's getting so hairy is because you're getting closer to the heart of the issue. There probably aren't many issues, it could just be one thing.

You're here, and you've put yourself down in your post. But... the actual act of searching for answers and seeking help is productive, thoughtful, wise and shows that you're an introspective person who cares about those around you and most importantly, you clearly care about yourself.

Anyways, I was listening to a video telling me to be chill and peaceful, and then my mom asked me to shovel the snow on the driveway... and I had assumed it was mine to shovel. But I didn't think she was going to dictate the time at which it be shoveled. That was hella annoying, and her justification was dumb. I did it, and it didn't feel good, but all the while I was aware of the funny contradiction in how I intended to feel and how I chose to react to life.

Dysfunction is nothing new, especially not to you, I'm sure you've had other phases of dysfunction in your life that you have forgotten about. When we're younger, I think we tend to let ourselves experience the dysfunctional phases, but as we age and become more conscious of our life, developing a broader perspective, we seem to want to control, force or stop the changes that are perhaps very natural and beneficial.

Maybe there is something missing in your life that has provided the environment for your thoughts, feelings and actions. Maybe everyone has some "deficiency" for the sake of diversity. With enough experience you might become an expert on your own craziness. The more times you watch yourself, the clearer it might become, what triggers you, why it triggers you, what your particular emotion says about your take on life and your take on yourself.
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Old 19-01-20, 16:27   #6
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Work to getting back to the person you used to be Tombcool. You can do it.
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Old 19-01-20, 17:00   #7
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// technical answer

The Borderline Personality Disorder is real, however this label is a resume of traits that, fluidly, can apply more or less on who is diagnosed. Identifying this disease helps in understanding more easily the therapy to apply and what to avoid (especially). But since no one is equal and only some traits are usually shared between each other (because the common pattern is the dynamic of the root cause, and not just the consequential symptoms, although the investigation has to start from them), this doesn't figure as an exact science and it can be underrated. Some psychologists also, don't diagnose personality disorders but only identify traits as they are, in order to not confuse/worry the patient and to operate only on the problematic traits in question (and not on the supposed root).
On the other hand there is something to consider: using this label as excuse for behaviours that damage the others is probably morally debatable, because not everyone might see it like an "handicap" that justifies everything (and I don't see it like that either; while having 3 friends with this disorder). This is probably also why other people tend to not recognize the disorder as real.
Anyway, some therapists might refuse patients with BPD because their style doesn't make it useful. A person with BPD will take the new little knowledges gained in 1 month of psychotherapy as valid and revelatory, and will try to believe in them... To then completely forget it, changing view. That makes many therapy approaches totally useless and wasteful.
So, some therapists proceed with more short-term styles without trying to heal the root from the root with a slow pace, but will only help in the superficial daily issues, without counting on the continuity of the patient. This style appears to be more useful and dynamic.
Just don't stop going to specialists until you can... BPD can become better during the time but it takes a very long time span to show -concrete- results. Like, 10 years. Sorry for saying it like this but this applies to every personality disorder, and a personality disorder is actually a "disordered personality", not just a faulty behaviour or something like that. It's something global of your actual personality. How much would a human take to change its -personality-? Decades, if ever. With therapy and the right specialists you'd reduce this time quite a lot. Don't stop going even when you think you're healed, because in BPD it's very common to have hits of "revelations" or to follow new ideals/idols, thinking they're the cure because now you're "changed" etc. These are the weakest moments instead. Keep going in psychotherapy even when you feel solved.
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