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Old 18-05-18, 17:29   #31
veigafd's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: brazil
Posts: 1,107

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Gimme duals
Or I'll sue all of you
I'm more bugged than Virtual Lara's hands
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Old 18-05-18, 17:33   #32
Relic Hunter
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: New York City Gender: Male
Posts: 8,033

This was brilliant.
Crawl through the world's cracks and reach through time to retrieve the secret.
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Old 18-05-18, 21:03   #33
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 872

Thanks again, you all

I wrote it in a waiting room so now reading it over, some of the word choice and clumsy flow was driving me nuts
(The rhymes that are kind of reaching stay though. Freedom of art! )

Here's the final version! It belongs to the Internet now!
Keep raiding, everybody

Why is Lara's hair so short? It's ugly like her old bun.
Who cares? I'm pissed off she only has one gun.
Lara's more than two pistols. What's wrong with the bow?
It looks stupid and shoots way too slow.
Talking about stupid? Her new outfit sucks.
Yeah, because shorts are so great for brambles and muck.
But why is Lara so weak? She's a crying wuss now.
She's becoming the Tomb Raider! Just wait and see how.
Sure, but you've been saying that since the last game.
Dumb Core fanboy, not everything stays the same.
You're being a moron. You do this every thread.
Piss off! You misinterpreted what I said.
(Personal insult)
(Personal insult)

Classic Lara was perfect, she didn't need changing.
Reboot Lara is the new Lara, so quit your complaining.
This dumbass new Lara needs every ledge to be white.
So what? They finally got the platforming right.
Is that why she's always wheezing out of breath?
Unlike the old tank Lara cheaply escaping death?
It's a video game. It's not meant to be real.
Look at your crappy classic graphics, then tell me how you feel.
Try playing them to learn about the real Lara, you noobs.
But where are her boobs?? She looks like a dude.
Don't be such a sexist pig.
I'm just saying she'd be hotter if they were more big.
Why they changed her braid, I'll never know why.
With hair this short she looks like a guy.

And it gets repeated until we all die.
Moral of the story? Don't bother to try.

Edit- I love drinking games, but can you imagine how crazy and badly misspelled posts would get with the TRF Drinking Game?

Last edited by HarleyCroft; 18-05-18 at 21:05.
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