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Old 14-02-22, 01:15   #25841
charmedangelin
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Some days I feel like I'm losing a sense of who I am. Idk why I did it, but I just randomly grabbed a pair of scissors and just started hacking away at my hair. It looks so bad, but at the same time I don't really care. I look into the mirror and I ask that person who are they. I don't recognize that person staring back at me at all.

My life did not turn out the way I believed it would. Randomly starting to feel depressed too as I realized that it maybe too late for me to do anything about it. My body is failing me because of my choices and sometimes I feel like it would be better if I just faded away from existence. What the point of this life? It's nothing but suffering all the way through until you finally die and then you deal with whatever BS happens in the after life.

Tbh if I god was there in the afterlife, I think I'd want to fight him. Part of me feels like the entire narrative of God is backwards and he is really the bad one and the so called bad one was actually trying to make things right.

Who tf knows, sometimes I wonder if I should just leave everything behind and wonder out into the street and live that way. I certainly wouldn't starve for quite sometime given my size. Then when I'm skinny enough I could just whore myself out to get food until someone finally kills me and puts an end to it all.
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Old 14-02-22, 02:30   #25842
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I am quite happy and content, but I miss my old friends and family a bit. Other than that I am a bit of a couch potato these days. I was thinking about a career change but I got extremely lazy. I'll just rest a bit more before looking for a better job. With everything closing down, right, left and center, I guess it's better to wait.
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Old 14-02-22, 19:57   #25843
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I dont like thinking about God bc is not a question of what is real or fair or logic to us.

If God exists then it's his word the beginning and end of everything. We all aswell go to Hell, good and bad ailike, maybe we are all made to suffer.

Btw im mad cuz my mum got me a shirt for a job interview tomorrow and it's ugly af lmaooo looks so old... but anyways my classy clothes dont fit me anymore so ill stick to the grandpa style shirt.
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Old 14-02-22, 21:13   #25844
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Then when I'm skinny enough I could just whore myself out to get food until someone finally kills me and puts an end to it all.
Whole idea of life is to being tested with our patience, pain and happiness. We meant to loose and learn from our looses. A troubled heart is like a loaded vessel. On heavy seas, it's your sorrows keeps you stable. If you have been grown-up in a bully-less, perfectly happy life ĖI wonder how would you cope with the instant tragedies that came out of nowhere. You would've probably capsized with the first wave. Embrace everything that hurts you and stock them within. Believe me, when the time comes you will wear them like badge of honor. This is the only thing I can say, to someone who can form series of unfortunate sentences about themselves. Like so in the quote bubble.

Stay safe. God, (not the book god but, "there has to be certain energy to ignite the Big Bang" type of God) never test you with a trouble you can't deal with. You can actually do this Ėit's a scientific fact. It's has been proven in CERN.
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Old 17-02-22, 01:12   #25845
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Feeling amazing. Cleaning all the floors with a cloth and water (took hours on my knees) was the most theraputic thing I've done in a long time.
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Old 17-02-22, 03:52   #25846
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I found a necklace I remember wearing. It has so many memories for me and takes me back into a world inside mind.

I honestly wish when we die we could just exist in a space where our mind rules all things. There are so many worlds I want to revisit. So many new worlds I'd love to create and live in.

I really hope dying won't be anything like the religions say it will be. I have a completely different idea of what death is like what happens after death.
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Old 17-02-22, 06:38   #25847
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Originally Posted by charmedangelin View Post
I found a necklace I remember wearing. It has so many memories for me and takes me back into a world inside mind.

I honestly wish when we die we could just exist in a space where our mind rules all things. There are so many worlds I want to revisit. So many new worlds I'd love to create and live in.

I really hope dying won't be anything like the religions say it will be. I have a completely different idea of what death is like what happens after death.
I just hope when I die I can still play TR somehow. If I canít do that, I donít want any part of death
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Old 17-02-22, 12:46   #25848
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I just hope when I die I can still play TR somehow. If I canít do that, I donít want any part of death
Same. What's the point in dying if we won't be able to play Tomb Raider for the eternity after? Seems like things would get boring fast otherwise.
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Old 17-02-22, 17:39   #25849
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Screw that, I'd raid tombs in the perfect afterlife

My living place got flooded right after I washed all the floors and the literally day my annual content insurance kicked in. If bad luck and good luck cancel eachother out its just life I guess. None of my stuff was affected and I got to take off work to mop and bust up the ice around the house with a metal shovel to make the water drain properly. Physical work is amazing, I love my new blisters
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Old 18-02-22, 18:05   #25850
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Humbled! Storm took down several trees near my house. Relieved that nobody was hurt. (Some people elsewhere in our country werenít so lucky. )
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