Funny Jokes!!!

camel_spit · 20-06-06, 19:59

Post your jokes here.

In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next

Legend of Lara · 20-06-06, 21:15

What is green and red and breaks the traffic law. A green lolly in a red sports car.
Have you heard this? The police have just got a drug-sniffing dog. PETE DOHERTY!!!

tr_mitch · 20-06-06, 21:19

Why are there no Parasetamol tablets in the jungle.... Because the Parrots-eat-em-all LOL... my joke sucks

Ampersand · 20-06-06, 21:22

The World's Shortest Books

THE VALUE OF PRE-WAR INTELLIGENCE by George W. Bush
HOW TO GET A TAN WITH A BLOWTORCH
FAST & EFFICIENT WINDOWS PROGRAMS
DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB
EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD by Bill Gates

From the ever-entertaining funny2.com

Legend of Lara · 20-06-06, 21:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ampersand

The World's Shortest Books

THE VALUE OF PRE-WAR INTELLIGENCE by George W. Bush
HOW TO GET A TAN WITH A BLOWTORCH
FAST & EFFICIENT WINDOWS PROGRAMS
DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB
EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD by Bill Gates

From the ever-entertaining funny2.com

Alive_and_Funky · 20-06-06, 21:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by camel_spit

Post your jokes here.

In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next

Legend of Lara · 20-06-06, 21:31

If Men Got Pregnant

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.

There'd be a cure for stretch marks.

Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem.

All methods of birth control would be improved to 100 percent effectiveness.

Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.

Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.

Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10:00pm.

Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.

They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."

Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.

They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.

Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.

Women would rule the world!

I luv Funny2!

keebz · 21-06-06, 00:41

I got a bunch of funny 'yo mama' jokes:

1. Yo mama is so old that her Social Security number is 1
2. Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it.
3. Yo mama is so fat, when you walk around her you get lost.
4. Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it!
5. Yo' mama so poor, her television only has two channels -- on and off!
6. Yo' mama so ugly, even the garbageman won't pick her up
7. Yo mama is so stupid, she has a glass door with a peep hole
8. Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook
9. Yo mama is so fat, she put on a yellow raincoat and all the kids yelled, “here comes the school bus.”
10. Yo mama is so dumb that she was on her way to the airport and saw a sign that said “airport left.” So she turned around and went home.
11. Yo mama is so fat, she uses pillowcases for socks.
12. Yo mama is so stupid, she traded in her car for gas money
13. Yo mama is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
14. Yo' mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it didn't come back!
15. Yo' mama so poor, she has to chase down the garbage truck with a shopping list!
16. Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
17. Yo mama is so fat that, when she was bungee jumping, she took the whole bridge with her.
18. Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map, she sees people waving
19. Yo mama is so hairy she makes bigfoot look shaved
20. Yo mama so fat that every time she turns around, they throw her a welcome back party.
21. Yo' mama so fat, she jumped in the ocean and whales started singing "We Are . Family!"
22. Yo' mama so stupid, she stole a free sample
23. Yo mama is so stupid when she put a quarter in the meter she asked, "Where's my gumball?"
24. Yo mama is so fat, when she wanted a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean
25. Your mama is so fat that when she sat on a rainbow, skittles came out .
26. Yo mama's so dirty, the U.S. Army wants to use her bath water as a biological weapon.
27. Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles the cars start to slow down.
30. Yo mama is so fat that her measurements are 36-24-36, and her other arm is just as big.
31. Yo' mama is so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again
32. Your mama is so fat, her stomach arrives home 30 minutes before she does.
33. Yo Mama's so dumb, she went to a movie that said ''under 18 not admitted,'' so she left to go get 17 of her friends.
34. Yo' mama so old, I told her to act her age and she died!
35. Yo' mama so stupid, she put a ruler next to her bed to see how long she sleeps!
36. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Heinz.
37. Yo mama is so fat that her driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."

20-06-06, 19:59	#1
camel_spit Member Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 76	Funny Jokes!!! Post your jokes here. In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next

20-06-06, 21:15	#2
Legend of Lara Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 45,781	What is green and red and breaks the traffic law. A green lolly in a red sports car. Have you heard this? The police have just got a drug-sniffing dog. PETE DOHERTY!!!

20-06-06, 21:19	#3
tr_mitch Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,832	Why are there no Parasetamol tablets in the jungle.... Because the Parrots-eat-em-all LOL... my joke sucks

20-06-06, 21:22	#4
Ampersand Member Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 9,040	The World's Shortest Books THE VALUE OF PRE-WAR INTELLIGENCE by George W. Bush HOW TO GET A TAN WITH A BLOWTORCH FAST & EFFICIENT WINDOWS PROGRAMS DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD by Bill Gates From the ever-entertaining funny2.com

20-06-06, 21:31	#7
Legend of Lara Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 45,781	If Men Got Pregnant -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay. There'd be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem. All methods of birth control would be improved to 100 percent effectiveness. Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained. Men would be eager to talk about commitment. They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute. Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10:00pm. Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags. They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him." Paternity suits would be a line of clothes. They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree. Women would rule the world! I luv Funny2!

21-06-06, 00:41	#8
keebz Member Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 1,723	I got a bunch of funny 'yo mama' jokes: 1. Yo mama is so old that her Social Security number is 1 2. Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it. 3. Yo mama is so fat, when you walk around her you get lost. 4. Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it! 5. Yo' mama so poor, her television only has two channels -- on and off! 6. Yo' mama so ugly, even the garbageman won't pick her up 7. Yo mama is so stupid, she has a glass door with a peep hole 8. Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook 9. Yo mama is so fat, she put on a yellow raincoat and all the kids yelled, “here comes the school bus.” 10. Yo mama is so dumb that she was on her way to the airport and saw a sign that said “airport left.” So she turned around and went home. 11. Yo mama is so fat, she uses pillowcases for socks. 12. Yo mama is so stupid, she traded in her car for gas money 13. Yo mama is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday. 14. Yo' mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it didn't come back! 15. Yo' mama so poor, she has to chase down the garbage truck with a shopping list! 16. Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. 17. Yo mama is so fat that, when she was bungee jumping, she took the whole bridge with her. 18. Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map, she sees people waving 19. Yo mama is so hairy she makes bigfoot look shaved 20. Yo mama so fat that every time she turns around, they throw her a welcome back party. 21. Yo' mama so fat, she jumped in the ocean and whales started singing "We Are . Family!" 22. Yo' mama so stupid, she stole a free sample 23. Yo mama is so stupid when she put a quarter in the meter she asked, "Where's my gumball?" 24. Yo mama is so fat, when she wanted a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean 25. Your mama is so fat that when she sat on a rainbow, skittles came out . 26. Yo mama's so dirty, the U.S. Army wants to use her bath water as a biological weapon. 27. Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles the cars start to slow down. 30. Yo mama is so fat that her measurements are 36-24-36, and her other arm is just as big. 31. Yo' mama is so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again 32. Your mama is so fat, her stomach arrives home 30 minutes before she does. 33. Yo Mama's so dumb, she went to a movie that said ''under 18 not admitted,'' so she left to go get 17 of her friends. 34. Yo' mama so old, I told her to act her age and she died! 35. Yo' mama so stupid, she put a ruler next to her bed to see how long she sleeps! 36. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Heinz. 37. Yo mama is so fat that her driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."